Anchor Yourself To Something Special

Everything changed the day she figured out that there was exactly enough time for the important things in her life.

I have been on this one woman mission of reinvention ever since the middle of the year, when I woke up and realized that somehow... my life didn't make sense to me the way I needed it to. I had matching tattoos done on the left side of my ribcage with my sister Katie with the word 'evolve' and it is the single one tattoo I don't think I will ever regret because I consider myself forever changing and evolving into more of me. It is very easy to get brainwashed by the standard set for me by the society but somehow I managed to break free... (Cue in this year's very meaningful Halloween costume) There are exactly 17 days left in this year's calendar. I am thankful. I found myself this year... not realizing how lost I was. Currently, I find myself so free that even if someone put me in cuffs, I'd still feel my freedom. I find comfort in being comforting. I think at one point, I got lost in the trend of keeping up with the trends until one day, I decided that I was the trend and that I should only be keeping up with was myself. The past years, I think I have been laying my foundation on something weak and shaky... like relationships and other people but I think I have somehow transitioned. Another meaningful tattoo that I got was behind my left ear and it is an anchor which is of significance for two reasons: (1) since my initials "JL" put together resemble an anchor so much, it might as well be my own sigil and (2) because despite how many reasons are thrown at me, I refuse to sink. Life's toughest storms the strength of our anchors... and I think mine has proven to be tough enough as it has been put to the test so many times.

Swing Out Sister

It's been a week long absence from posting because 1.)  schedule has been off the hook and 2.) there was no internet at home, my mom managed to survive through my ordeal by getting my postpaid tattoo and I consumed too much data and as per the Fair Usage Policy, I was using up too much bandwidth that my internet had to be slower to give a chance to others. For the Internet thing- I have to say that Dominique's cute but menacing cat, Kenzo was to blame as he chewed off the wire which took forever to fix and restore. Now as much as I love blogging, you see, I love living beings more so I spared Kenzo the rage blackout (not that he would understand why I was mad) and decided to just be. I was way too busy with work anyway and in my down time, I was actually able to do other things that I probably would unot have been able to had there been Internet as I would probably be too busy glued to the computer screen and browsing through sites and meandering. I thought I would not have survived all those days but it was actually refreshing as I got to read books, goof up with people (well, that I do with or without Internet so it doesn't really count actually) and of course actually bond and get to talk to people without having to multitask. I have a really difficult time compartmentalizing which is a debilitating side effect of my OCD so now that I had all the time not using the Internet, I got to concentrate on other things. A lot of freak accidents have happened the past days that I had to check if Mercury was in retrograde but apparently, it wasn't and there are just times that bad things happen all at the same time. The difference between letting it get to you or not depends solely on how you react to the things happening to you and rather than sulk, scowl and complain endlessly, I decided to go the road less traveled and used the time to be productive and it was good. I used the time to get to think up ideas and things (the one where I decided to have a cotton candy and popcorn in my booth in BU8 being one of them...but let's save that for another blog post!). It was all about your reaction to things that dictate how it will affect you and I am happy with how I was able to turn a dire situation into something positive. My, my. Is it just me or have I seriously changed so much? I like how I am responding to things in such a zen-like manner so let all the good juju flow. I need that a lot this December!

On Breaking Ground

Fresh starts. Put your past behind you, and start over. It is hard to resist the chance at a new beginning. A chance to put the problems of the past to bed. But who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It is not a day in the calendar, not a birthday, not a new year. It is an event. Big or small. Something that changes us. Ideally, it gives us hope.

 A new way of living and looking at the world- letting go of old habits, old memories. What is important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning. But it's also important to remember that amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to. 

This was the outfit I wore to a very important day in my life and starting over (yet again) as I wore this to the ground breaking of my soon to be future home which I find something good to look forward to. Hopefully, like me, this represents a transition into something new, something bigger and better. This is also what makes the outfit quite monumental. It signifies a fresh start and a new beginning for me. 

This is letting go

It's time to let go. Who has heard this from someone who cares for them? Who has said it to someone they care about? I am sure at one point in anyone's life, they were on both the receiving and sending end of this saying. The thing with letting go is that most of the time, it is easier said than done. Somehow, we are wired to hang on to things even if the only thing keeping us from falling to the inevitable is the fact that we are hanging by a thread. Then it breaks and we are left with no choice but to stop hanging on... it's always better to jump than to free fall because at least you have control of the former. The thing is I have spent most of my life heavily invested on this idea of control that it is hard for me to let go. I think I need to fix things and handle things even if they are beyond repair. My least favorite feeling in the world is powerlessness and being "out of control" is never an option for me especially since I realized at a young age that I have terrible coping mechanisms. It doesn't sound easy and it is not in any way a fun life. However, recently, I have been aligning myself and putting things in perspective... I've realized that to avoid stressful situations and major diva-style meltdowns, I need to be more flexible, more capable of going with the flow and of course with that comes the ability of learning the art of letting go.

You Might As Well Be Walking on The Sun

One of my favorite things to do is hang by the pool (which makes me think I should find more interesting activities...hmm...) I know, I know. I feel like my life is in perpetual summer mode which is funny because the quest for bright and shiny is a never-ending thing for me.A lot of people have been asking me to show them outfits of me in coordinates and while I have done shoots a few weeks back, showing another one won't hurt, right? So here I am in flamingo glory, basking in the sun by the pool and for a moment... life is absolutely perfect.

A Smile and a Ribbon

 
The beach has always been a relaxing place for me. I am definitely a beach baby and there is just something about the sand, the sea and the waves crashing against the rocks that I find very calming. Whenever I feel the need to take a private retreat from the busyness of daily life in the city, which I have to admit is quite maddening, I hop into the car and escape. Luckily, I live in a country where the beach is only about a two hour drive away. This makes clarity, introspection and soul searching within reach. I can spend days in the beach and would actually prefer to do that. I think nothing is more relaxing than a cold tropical shake, a lovely bikini and a good book and I can get lost in the moment.

Proud Soul

The past week has been all kinds of topsy-turvy but I am not complaining as I do believe and see that I am very blessed to be safe and in a good place compared to other people. I find nagging, complaining and whining are to no avail and do not help at all when it comes to fixing things so consider me in a very good place...and I would rather not be anywhere else. I have been on this new sense of calm recently that nothing seems to faze me... not even a 4-hour black-out in this outfit in an enclosed space won't bring my spirits down. In all ways, this sweater weather outfit and a midi skirt from the lovely clothing brand I Love NL Clothing was perfect and would have been appropriate- if the situation was one where electricity was existent- and it is something that conveys a strong message. The text of the sweater reads: PROUD SOUL...and in light of my disposition lately, I have to say, I deserve to wear this...FINALLY.

Kings And Queens

Jarod Kintz once said, “Love is like a chess match, where the queen wins the game and the king just sort of stands around," and I apologize to anyone who might take offense but this quotation makes sense to me... no, I am not some bitter, cynical person who just recently decided to be a founder of her own anti-men's club. I am actually quite the exact opposite... however, you have to admit, when it comes to certain things, a girl has got to take control...and relationships, you see, are one of them... in my opinion.  I do not know if you have noticed but recently my life has made quite an enchanted turn and I am absolutely loving it. I am all about two things when it comes to fashion recently: neutral and pastels, and I think the backdrop of a black and white human-sized chess board was the perfect backdrop for my lavender cropped top and white midi-skirt. I do hope you enjoy this outfit as much a I did wearing it and of course taking photos of it- I felt like my own version of Alice in Wonderland and I have to say, a break from the mundane hum-drum reality of everyday life is always a welcome escape. "You play, you win, you play, you lose. You play. It’s the playing that’s irresistible. Dicing from one year to the next with the things you love, what you risk reveals what you value.”