I Know Places We Can Hide

There are some places in life where you can only go alone. Some steps that need to be taken alone. It’s the only way to really figure out where you need to go and who you need to be.  Embrace the beauty of your solo journey.

As much as I love my job with so much zeal and passion, I have to admit that I can't do it 24/7 and that being human and all... I also need to take a break. I've always lived with that mindset that when I start something, I need to finish it so I tend to fixate on things which makes me anxious and very neurotic. I am one of those people who sometimes forget to take a break until I burn out. Thankfully, I was able to find a way to have that much sought after work-life balance and I don't feel guilty or like a slacker when I take breaks. More so, the activities I engage in are more wholesome and enriching and I am happy to have matured...finally. I look back at my past self and can't believe that huge disparity between the person I used to be and the activities I used to do and the person that I am now and the activities I make time for. I've learned to prioritize, to keep a level head and to know there is a great big world out there. This necessary awakening was a result of taking much needed time off boys and dating. I guess I have to thank my ex-boyfriends and my break-ups for giving me the chance to be alone so I can grow on my own... and so far, I like the person that I am. I am more calm and stable. I am no longer impulsive and I've managed to understand the concept of applying myself despite a few setbacks I have. At some point, I also stopped feeling sorry for myself and actually carried on and did something with my life. I figured out what I want to be and where I belong and this level of transcendence and self-actualization would not have been in any way possible had I stayed in a relationship because I learned to stop defining my happiness and myself with the person I was with. Now I can say that the source of my happiness and contentment comes from myself and my advocacy. Suffice to say, I learned to depend on myself and I think I needed that a lot. I wouldn't be able to do all these things and realize all these unless I was all by myself. It's a funny thing when people say that when "God closes a door, he opens a window," because after spending sufficient time reflecting, I think the more appropriate thing to say is that when "God closes a door and shuts the window... it's because He is building an entirely new and better house for yourself..." And isn't that just a lovely thought?

Today Was A Fairytale

I wanted to find something of the beauty of myth that we’ve left behind, carry its shreds before us all, so we could acknowledge it, somehow bring it back to life. I wanted to delve back into that world that cradled us when we were young enough to still touch it, when trolls lived under creek bridges, faeries fluttered under mushroom caps, and the Tooth Fairy only came once you were truly sleeping. I wanted to see if enchantment was somehow still there, simply waiting to be reached. When I felt my loss, I realized that if I could do anything in this life, I wanted to travel the world, searching for those who were still awake in that old dream time, and listen to their stories – because I had to know that there were grownups out there who still believed that life could be magical.
And in that moment I decided: I am going to find the faeries... and write my own fairytales.

Before the noche buena festivities commence, I would like to wish everyone: A Merry Christmas. Granted Christmas Eve is such a big deal in our country, I am sure everyone is excited to have a fun-filled night until morning with loved ones. I think the ability to reconnect is one of the best things about the Yuletide season and I do hope you spend this opportunity well. You see, once you get older, the holidays become more of a chore rather than a cause for celebration. I get it... we all have responsibilities now and we were already told Santa doesn't exist and that it really was our parents who are stuffing our Christmas socks after all. That's the thing about growing up--- we find out the reality of things that we used to marvel at and believe so intensely. This is the reason why I find people who manage to see the magic in everyday life and continues to be enchanted absolutely fascinating. It's a hard knock life but having hope is something to revel at. Not everyone is like that anymore... maybe except for a selected few. As jaded as I think I tend to be, one thing I still do believe in magical things and that's how I choose to be. Enchantment lies in everyday moments if you are observant and if you are willing to write down your own tales. It's quite simple really... for my case. for example, all I have to do is to find the beauty in the mundane things... and even simpler yet, all I have to do is wear an dreamy ensemble that spells "QUEEN" all over it... this gown is an example of that. After all, an enchanted day is only enchanted if we ourselves believe that anything is possible.

The Happiness In Her Eyes

My only goal in life right now is to be happy. Genuinely, intensely and consistently happy, regardless of what that looks like to others...

 

It's Christmas time! I love everything about this season...probably because everyone seems to be jolly and happy and generous...and also because people are at that point where they are settling old scores and trying to close cycles in preparation for the New Year. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year! Aside from the festivities, one of my most favorite things about the Christmas season is the gifts. I love the gifts. Now, not to sound materialistic or something, because the gifts I mean are those that you can't purchase in a store or those that have monetary value. I've been raised in a loving family where the most fascinating and most important gifts are those that you don't have to buy and I think that personally, I prefer it that way. I am not one of those people who appreciate something expensive or costly to be given to me to make me happy... I think I am a more simple and practical person where effort is more appreciated over the cost. After all, if you are the kind of person who can have anything you want, what you want are the things that money can't buy and this actually requires more energy than having to go to a mall and buying something and paying for it at a counter. Now what gifts am I referring to? It can be anything from a simple smile, an apology from someone you had animosity towards (and a reconciliation), having good and unforgettable memories with people that will last a lifetime or perhaps being given another chance to make things right. I find those gifts more fascinating... don't you think?

Swing Out Sister

It's been a week long absence from posting because 1.)  schedule has been off the hook and 2.) there was no internet at home, my mom managed to survive through my ordeal by getting my postpaid tattoo and I consumed too much data and as per the Fair Usage Policy, I was using up too much bandwidth that my internet had to be slower to give a chance to others. For the Internet thing- I have to say that Dominique's cute but menacing cat, Kenzo was to blame as he chewed off the wire which took forever to fix and restore. Now as much as I love blogging, you see, I love living beings more so I spared Kenzo the rage blackout (not that he would understand why I was mad) and decided to just be. I was way too busy with work anyway and in my down time, I was actually able to do other things that I probably would unot have been able to had there been Internet as I would probably be too busy glued to the computer screen and browsing through sites and meandering. I thought I would not have survived all those days but it was actually refreshing as I got to read books, goof up with people (well, that I do with or without Internet so it doesn't really count actually) and of course actually bond and get to talk to people without having to multitask. I have a really difficult time compartmentalizing which is a debilitating side effect of my OCD so now that I had all the time not using the Internet, I got to concentrate on other things. A lot of freak accidents have happened the past days that I had to check if Mercury was in retrograde but apparently, it wasn't and there are just times that bad things happen all at the same time. The difference between letting it get to you or not depends solely on how you react to the things happening to you and rather than sulk, scowl and complain endlessly, I decided to go the road less traveled and used the time to be productive and it was good. I used the time to get to think up ideas and things (the one where I decided to have a cotton candy and popcorn in my booth in BU8 being one of them...but let's save that for another blog post!). It was all about your reaction to things that dictate how it will affect you and I am happy with how I was able to turn a dire situation into something positive. My, my. Is it just me or have I seriously changed so much? I like how I am responding to things in such a zen-like manner so let all the good juju flow. I need that a lot this December!

Folk Story

Before I forget, let me show you another Halloween costume I wore for my self-proclaimed favorite holiday which was actually the first of the two costumes I had worn (the second being the Ariana Grande one). For day time/ trick-or-treating, I decided ti wear this folk-themed costume. Of course, when someone wears something tribal, everyone automatically assumes that the look I was going for was that of Native Indian. I beg to differ. Aside from the fact I am very sensitive to the traditions and culture the native American Indians and therefore would refuse to wear a feathered tribal head dress as it is offensive to don the war bonnet as it sends a culturally inappropriate detail on Native costume. (Cue in Victoria's Secret Karlie Kloss-gate from 2012.) I know Halloween is all about fun but since I know better and did not want to offend, I decided to don a Nordic Warrior-inspired gear and decided to choose pink to make it more fun and less sensitive to anything historical. Besides, I think my FOSSIL Dominique already rocked the American Indian look in her Pocahontas costume from two Halloweens ago... Check out her look HERE and HERE. That explains the fur over the feathers and this interesting animal print wedged shoes from 37LA which matched my outfit and the feet cuffs so perfectly. I then full on committed and painted my face with makeup to make the look all the more on point. If you notice, I also posed quite fiercely which was quite a feat as I was on a ledge in heels... the things I do for Halloween...

An Ode to the Little Black Dress

"One is never over-dressed or underdressed with a Little Black Dress.” - Karl Lagerfeld

 The Little Black Dress is the most appropriate piece of clothing a woman can ever own. I say this because truth be told, here I am in another Little Black Dress. The last I wore one, I was due for court. This time, however, I worn one for a very festive occasion which was the Birthday dinner of my beautiful and amazing mother over at Sage in Makati Shangri-la Hotel. I wanted to wear something that looked festive but at the same time maintained the elements of class and elegance and this dress was the perfect fit. This dress in particular which was made of tweed on its top area with a conservative cut and silver detail was exactly that and then it took a youthful turn to fun with the organza and almost tutu looking skirt. It was everything I pictured to wear on an intimate dinner with family.

Pretty In Pastel

I always love reverting back to pastel shades. I always thought I was an all black, leather, biker chic kind of girl but apparently, like most things in life, things change. I changed and I decided calm neutrals and pastel shades are so light and easy on the eye which is why I have always been so proud to wear these hues whenever I go out...especially during the day. The past few days, the weather has been cooperative which results in my own sunny disposition. It is always fun to go out when it is bright and sunny, considering a lot of places in the city are open-air and sunshine-friendly.

Crimson Day

Crimson is such a lovely color and it was only fitting to wear this dress for a friend's wedding which had the theme that consisted of fall colors. There were so many choices to choose from- amber, bronze, midnight blue, forest green, burnt sienna etc. but ultimately I chose red because even if I used to try to avoid the color because it made me look more Asian than ever...I realized that it's not a bad thing because after all, I really am Asian and proud to be one at that! I always associated this color to affection, intensity, passion and well blood, which, well to be honest, are all elements of love. I will shed more insight on this topic as I go along the post but for the meantime, enjoy my outfit as I definitely had a grand time wearing it...

The Merry-Go-Round

“I am suddenly consumed by nostalgia for the little girl who was me, who loved the fields and believed in God, who spent winter days home sick from school reading Nancy Drew and sucking menthol cough drops, who could keep a secret.”

Faerie's Wheel

Life is magical. I say that wholeheartedly because despite the many problems we encounter or how "bad" and miserable our day is, at the end of the day, there is always something we find that we can smile about and that is exactly what makes it magical. When we were young, we were told fairy tales and when we got older, the real world had a funny way of catching up with us which made us doubt them but I think that the main reason they continue to exist (or were written in the first place), is because something magical is here and exists that inspired them...And magic can be found in stolen moments. This is exactly what this outfit is all about: enchantment. I had the dreamiest time shooting this outfit which was in every way magical as I was draped in layers and layers of soft chiffon that swayed and moved with me and the wind on the breezy Saturday afternoon that I wore it. Since I was in every way in my own element and revelry, the setting provided to be perfection as I had a Ferris Wheel or as I refer to it, a faerie's wheel, in the background fully complimenting the ensemble.