Jan 16, 2015

In This Moment Now. Capture It...Remember It.

“And somewhere along the way, amidst all the loss, tears, triumph, tragedy, joy, pain, laughter, transformation, restoration, lessons, love, and life, you realize that the true meaning of it all isn’t to settle for merely a Happy Ending, but to hold out for a Happy Everything.” 

 I think it is a nice thing to begin the year and my blog posts for 2015 with a lot of color and from the balloon post from the last time to this very colorful Graffiti wall post, I am thinking I've got that whole thing covered. Seeing things in color is a really big deal...for someone who tends to see things in black and white (most of the time)...aka., me. Personally, I don't think that the things I go through are unusual. I have learned time and time again that we are all going through something... it just varies from person to person. I think the most important thing is how we handle the situations and how well we play the cards we have been dealt with... and that's why there are happy people, who go along life with so much optimism and hope that better things are yet to come and then there's unhappy people, who tend to prefer to regard life as chaotic and their situation dire and hopeless. I used to be the latter but then I decided that it was just so tiring and inevitably, unhealthy to always be so negative that I traded my jersey and joined the other team... and so far, I think I've made the right decision. I absolutely love the side I am in and finally, everything is more colorful, brighter and more interesting. I know that I have so much more to learn and discover. I am happy for the things I have gone through- both the good and the bad- as I think these experiences have shaped me to become the person that I am today. I consider myself blessed to have gone through storms because it proved how strong I was and when I look back at everything I have gone through (and managed to get out of alive), I am reminded that I've managed to survive so many things and that no matter what curve ball life wants to throw at me, I know I will survive it just the same. I think everything that happens to us happens for a reason and for me, I think that it has made me the person that I am today and now that I can finally see clearly, I refuse to stray away from what is good and right and real.

 Black Knit Sweater: Zara (also worn HERE)
Green Taffeta Ball Skirt: Glitterati
Beaded Turquoise Miniaudiere: Emilio Pucci (also worn HERE)
Faux Emerald Earrings and Statement Gem Necklace:  GoJane.com (also worn HERE)

Now I have had a major obsession with maxi ball skirts but I never seem to find any in stores that I can buy an while this outfit is so very reminiscent of a blog post a year ago that I entitled, Emerald Cityone major difference is the length of the skirt which for me, being the very particular person that I am when it comes to what I wear, was everything. It is very very easy to find a midi skirt and I have a lot of skirts of that length. I think they are all so pretty, I have perhaps a dozen in different colors and designs and I love wearing them... however, for more formal occasions, I prefer to be in a long skirt which a ball skirt provides for me. I have searched endlessly for a skirt like this and to no avail. The plus side of owning your own clothing brand and employing your own sewers is that I can basically have everything that I want made for me... exactly the way I want it to be and for that reason alone, I consider myself blessed. Now this skirt is absolutely a dream to be in... the pleats are marvelous, the way it flares out the way ball skirts are supposed to and the length are all reasons that have got me hooked on the design. (I am actually quite obsessed with it that I ordered to have 5 more made for me in the same design but in different colors...because that's just how I am.) While my brand, which I co-own with my FOSSIL Dominique is specializing more on Made to Order items specifically dresses for brides, their entourage, as well as for the teens going to prom and to debuts, I would love to sell this skirt as a retail piece because personally, I think every girl should have at least one skirt like this in their closet because it makes things easier especially when you need to wear something to a formal event and just don't want to think about it too much...don't you think? As for me, I wore this for Christmas Eve which, as a tradition for the past ten years and after five boyfriends, is where we spend our Christmas Eve dinner...with a special degustation menu prepared for us. My family rents out the Magsaysay room and it's been an ongoing thing for a long time that I don't even have to ask anymore where we are going to for dinner as Old Manila for Christmas Eve is practically an institution already. We need to go there. Now I grew up with the people from that place. The servers, the managers and the chef all know me and of course, my list of allergies so I am always greeted so warmly by the lovely staff when I dash in. One major thing that they all noticed was how I was not in my traditional "White Christmas" gown which I always wore for the past 4 years now...and to prove my point, allow me to take you back in time and show you what I mean...
Christmas Eve 2011 Attire: Okay so I skipped this year because I wore white the day before which was originally supposed to be my Christmas dress and you can see it HERE

 I of coursed smiled sweetly at them and told them I was in a transitional stage this time and I had to change things up a bit and evergreen was a color I have never tried to wear before...ever and I thought it was high time I did. I think a lot of my fashion choices also revolve around whatever is going through with myself and since I am finding an all new side of me... one that I never even thought existed, it was high time that I change the tradition and make a new one. The moment you take control of your life is the moment you realize that you don't need to conform and that ultimately the power to make decisions is yours and yours alone. 

With that, allow me to move on to something related to having control. I am turning 28 on February 10 and that's less than a month from today and I think I grew up a lot this year and I think a lot of people are starting to notice. The thing I realized with people at my age is that we are scrambling to settle down and find the perfect story to our lives. Now I say we as I used to be part of that group. Most of the time, that involves riding off in the sunset with a Knight in Shining Armor or with Prince Charming in his white horse... which in the non-fairytale land translates to getting married and then when we do, we think we've finally found our Happily Ever After. The funny thing is, Ever Afters, usually have the "..." because it doesn't exist. Another life begins with another set of challenges and before you know it, you're back to "Once Upon A Time..." all over again. Life doesn't end after "Happily Ever After," and I realize that now... which is why I think that the journey and the story never ends. Granted that- I also finally realized that I am not a princess, this is not a fairytale and that I am a Queen, I don't need saving, I've got it all handled. And so the story goes, a queen on her throne is a woman who grows beyond boundaries, knowing that the power within her is sufficient to meet each and every obstacle that comes to her life. As such, you can be the queen of your own life... So always wear your invisible crown. 

And to end this very long entry, allow me to say:  

A queen is not impressed with being desired by others- she expects it, based on her respect and her love of herself. She knows she has a lot to offer and therefore sets a high standard for those who would prove worthy of her time and her company, not to mention access to her heart, assets and home. A queen does not need the attention of others to feel desirable and worthy of love. And she knows the difference between being desired and wanted for what she looks like, what she has or what she can do, and being loved and valued for who she is. A good woman with trust issues is a Queen who once invested her loyalty to a peasant and she takes pride in the fact that she can walk into any room with a king and no man can say they've ever even touched the queen. 
 More so, a queen knows how to build an empire with the same rocks that were thrown at her. She knows her true nature is luminous. As for me, I am also honest enough to admit that before I can be anyone else's, I have to be mine... and be strong enough to be there for other people who need my help (I have a Kingdom to rule, after all). While I might not ever get my Happy Ending... I don't really care... because I refuse to settle for that... I am holding out for my Happy Everything.     

Photos by: Celyn Jaravata
Special Thanks to: Michael Argonza

xx, JL

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