Jan 2, 2015

Stranger Than Fiction

I have heard it time and again: It's good to have an end to journey towards; but we must not forget that it is the journey that matters... in the end. I've always been a person who operated on processes. There was something always so attractive and appealing to me about going through a definite and absolute step by step process. Perhaps it is the formula of being a control freak + obsessive compulsive + ISTJ (which in the world of Psychology is one of the 16 personality archetypes.) I have scored extremes in these different categories and to orient you, ISTJs are responsible organizers, driven to create and enforce order within systems and institutions. They are neat and orderly, inside and out, and tend to have a procedure for everything they do. Reliable and dutiful, ISTJs want to uphold tradition and follow regulations. ISTJs are steady, productive contributors. Although they are Introverted, ISTJs are rarely isolated; typical ISTJs know just where they belong in life, and want to understand how they can participate in established organizations and systems. They concern themselves with mainlining the social order and making sure that standards are met. To get to know my personality archetype or perhaps to learn more about yours, click HERE and HERE. Ah, the joy of Psychometrics! This is why I love this field so much. Those few sentences pretty much explained me as a person but slowly, I have been on a self-mandated purge and detoxification from being on the extremes. The Spice Girls did say, too much of something is just as tough...so I guess there must be some merit to that. (I apologize for the sarcasm. But I think that song actually makes so much sense)

Shift Little Black Dress with Side Pockets: Bershka 
Bleu Electrique Birkin Bag: Hermes (also worn HERE)
Statement Necklace with Green and Blue Gems: Pretty Little Blings (also worn HERE)
Alligator Skin Pointed Toe Shoes:  Altuzarra
Evil Eye Pave Beaded Gold and Blue Bangle: C.Wonder (Also worn HERE)
Watch: Rolex
Pearls: Mikimoto 

A year ago, on this very day, I do not envision myself doing what I am doing now. I was too stubborn, hard-headed and resigned to accepting my fate and the fact that nothing I planned on doing ever came through and in so many ways, that is probably my worst nightmare realized. I sulked, I hid away and I settled... I knew that "that place I was in last year" wasn't exactly where I wanted to be in so many ways but I guess as a coping mechanism, I just stopped thinking for myself and let things happen. Obviously, that was a mistake which is why I consider myself blessed to get to have (not a do-over because life doesn't grant that to anyone) something like time to get things right and in order. As productive as you may think I am (or as productive I used to appear to be, in general), in my standards, I was floating... it was like my routine followed a detrimental step by step process: Wake up- Survive - Sleep - Repeat. And so the dance continues. Looking back, it was really quite sad- to say the least- because I am a go-getter and I am a very resilient person. Probably I just rolled with the punches and stopped fighting back and when it comes to facing your struggles in life head on, that is not a good move. I would know. What makes me consider myself utterly thankful and blessed is the fact that there are a number of people who never gave up on me and who knew me well enough to know that there was so much more to me than being a human being on autopilot. Now, I find that I have so much clarity, stability and contentment and the cherry on top of that wonderful sundae is that I actually love what I am doing. I am maturing right before my (and of course, everyone else's...including your) eyes and that fulfills me. Things can change, after all... if you change your perceptions and priorities.

So much has changed and the most obvious one is on the physical aspect (Yes, I have not forgotten that this is a fashion and lifestyle blog) and on the same time last year, this was my post: Finally Taking Over, and it would be safe to assume that based on the entry, I wasn't really in such a happy place as I probably am today. Of course, even my fashion sense was so very different back then... I was more trendy and risque and the ever present studs that always made an appearance on my outfit for some odd reason back then is very apparent. Right now, I probably can't imagine wearing something like that and getting away with it (without being given a memo for inappropriate office attire) and I kind of like how it is now. Don't get me wrong, I seriously still love picking and purchasing my own items but I have been more discerning. So, this explains how on the same day of two very different years, I am still in my closet staple Little Black Dress... but in two completely different styles. The fun thing about fashion is that even if it almost the same type of clothing- the style, silhouette and accents and accessories you add on can change so many things and that it is in a part a very visual representation of a certain period we are going through in our life. It's all about structure and classic styles and I have traded in my studs and grommets for pearls... to be able to grow, one must be open to change and I am welcoming this one. I love the place I am in presently and I would very much like to stay here for a longer time... thank you very much. 

Of course, I wasn't as willing to change my routine back then as I got too comfortable to the mundane life but I think that stepping aside and allowing yourself to be open to change is vital. We may not like it at all and we could try to avoid the shift- kicking and screaming but it really is important to get out of your own head and see the big picture... (because there is one!)  Actually, in all honesty, finding out that you have been looking at things all wrong can be sort of liberating. Then, you will suddenly see new potential, new possibilities where you had never seen them before. And that's amazing especially when a seemingly hopeless situation suddenly looks good. It's a risk though since sometimes, things tend to go the other way. As cliche and overused this line has probably been used, sometimes, the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. With that, I think it is vital to always focus on how far one has come rather than how far you have left to go.

I have learned to leave some people back in 2014 and I also learned to bring in a few and as of now, let's see how it all goes. An interesting private message a reader had sent me on New Year went like this: I think it's amazing how you can go through the motions of emotions that cause pain, Queen... and still, your crown remains unshaken. That was the first best message I got for the year and to whoever sent this to me (I am sure you know who you are...), thank you for that. I always did things because I wanted to them regardless of whether people will notice or not... so as unexpected as this was, it meant so much to me. As I begin another year, I have to admit--- I know there is more so I refuse to settle for the happily ever afters just yet. Maybe it is not about the happy ending... maybe it really is all about the story.

Photos by: Celyn

xx, JL

Now, I wore this classic and clean ensemble to a viewing party I was invited to at the Zuellig Building also known as H&M Philippines Headquarters. They displayed some major awesome items and I absolutely can't wait for these gorgeous pieces (I loved everything!!!) to hit the racks!!! Here's a sneak peek at what the brand has got in store for you...


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