I Know Places We Can Hide

There are some places in life where you can only go alone. Some steps that need to be taken alone. It’s the only way to really figure out where you need to go and who you need to be.  Embrace the beauty of your solo journey.

As much as I love my job with so much zeal and passion, I have to admit that I can't do it 24/7 and that being human and all... I also need to take a break. I've always lived with that mindset that when I start something, I need to finish it so I tend to fixate on things which makes me anxious and very neurotic. I am one of those people who sometimes forget to take a break until I burn out. Thankfully, I was able to find a way to have that much sought after work-life balance and I don't feel guilty or like a slacker when I take breaks. More so, the activities I engage in are more wholesome and enriching and I am happy to have matured...finally. I look back at my past self and can't believe that huge disparity between the person I used to be and the activities I used to do and the person that I am now and the activities I make time for. I've learned to prioritize, to keep a level head and to know there is a great big world out there. This necessary awakening was a result of taking much needed time off boys and dating. I guess I have to thank my ex-boyfriends and my break-ups for giving me the chance to be alone so I can grow on my own... and so far, I like the person that I am. I am more calm and stable. I am no longer impulsive and I've managed to understand the concept of applying myself despite a few setbacks I have. At some point, I also stopped feeling sorry for myself and actually carried on and did something with my life. I figured out what I want to be and where I belong and this level of transcendence and self-actualization would not have been in any way possible had I stayed in a relationship because I learned to stop defining my happiness and myself with the person I was with. Now I can say that the source of my happiness and contentment comes from myself and my advocacy. Suffice to say, I learned to depend on myself and I think I needed that a lot. I wouldn't be able to do all these things and realize all these unless I was all by myself. It's a funny thing when people say that when "God closes a door, he opens a window," because after spending sufficient time reflecting, I think the more appropriate thing to say is that when "God closes a door and shuts the window... it's because He is building an entirely new and better house for yourself..." And isn't that just a lovely thought?

The Happiness In Her Eyes

My only goal in life right now is to be happy. Genuinely, intensely and consistently happy, regardless of what that looks like to others...

 

It's Christmas time! I love everything about this season...probably because everyone seems to be jolly and happy and generous...and also because people are at that point where they are settling old scores and trying to close cycles in preparation for the New Year. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year! Aside from the festivities, one of my most favorite things about the Christmas season is the gifts. I love the gifts. Now, not to sound materialistic or something, because the gifts I mean are those that you can't purchase in a store or those that have monetary value. I've been raised in a loving family where the most fascinating and most important gifts are those that you don't have to buy and I think that personally, I prefer it that way. I am not one of those people who appreciate something expensive or costly to be given to me to make me happy... I think I am a more simple and practical person where effort is more appreciated over the cost. After all, if you are the kind of person who can have anything you want, what you want are the things that money can't buy and this actually requires more energy than having to go to a mall and buying something and paying for it at a counter. Now what gifts am I referring to? It can be anything from a simple smile, an apology from someone you had animosity towards (and a reconciliation), having good and unforgettable memories with people that will last a lifetime or perhaps being given another chance to make things right. I find those gifts more fascinating... don't you think?

Anchor Yourself To Something Special

Everything changed the day she figured out that there was exactly enough time for the important things in her life.

I have been on this one woman mission of reinvention ever since the middle of the year, when I woke up and realized that somehow... my life didn't make sense to me the way I needed it to. I had matching tattoos done on the left side of my ribcage with my sister Katie with the word 'evolve' and it is the single one tattoo I don't think I will ever regret because I consider myself forever changing and evolving into more of me. It is very easy to get brainwashed by the standard set for me by the society but somehow I managed to break free... (Cue in this year's very meaningful Halloween costume) There are exactly 17 days left in this year's calendar. I am thankful. I found myself this year... not realizing how lost I was. Currently, I find myself so free that even if someone put me in cuffs, I'd still feel my freedom. I find comfort in being comforting. I think at one point, I got lost in the trend of keeping up with the trends until one day, I decided that I was the trend and that I should only be keeping up with was myself. The past years, I think I have been laying my foundation on something weak and shaky... like relationships and other people but I think I have somehow transitioned. Another meaningful tattoo that I got was behind my left ear and it is an anchor which is of significance for two reasons: (1) since my initials "JL" put together resemble an anchor so much, it might as well be my own sigil and (2) because despite how many reasons are thrown at me, I refuse to sink. Life's toughest storms the strength of our anchors... and I think mine has proven to be tough enough as it has been put to the test so many times.

Fine China

Everyone always mistakes me for being either Japanese or Korean...save for some of my Chinese friends who actually assume I am Chinese and think I went to an all-girls Chinese school. I didn't and  don't consider myself Chinese even if my paternal grandmother migrated from China and my dad is practically 50% Chinese, which makes me about 35%. I take up after my father in the looks department so I understand why this is a common assumption and some readers do comment that I actually look more Chinese than Domz who is actually 50% and I have to remind them, Dominique is a cross-breed and her German features are much more prominent in the looks department. As for me, I'm all Asian and apparently did not inherit any Spanish trait from my mother's side in the physical department...not that I am complaining... since I love how I look. (And yes, it is http://www.mealready.com)