Jul 30, 2012

The weak are cruel. The strong have no need to be.

(Top: Zara | Jeans: Zara | Bag: Book Clutch by 37LA | Shoes: DAS | Accessories: Gifts Ahoy and Gold Couture)

Last week, I received hate mail from someone who obviously knew much about me and my family. This said person hid behind the anonymous shield, as most haters would and understandably so. I only know a handful of people who can say what they want to say and stand by it- case in point, fashion blogger, Dominique Tiu who has always been quick to say what's on her mind and quite eloquently, if I may add. The thing is, in this day and age we live in, things are very easily traceable...Anonymous doesn't really count anymore and if you're smart, you can employ certain measures to counter act people saying bad things about you on your blog or in other social media outlets (ie. Twitter). I know its part of the job as a fashion blogger to receive negative comments in each post- I usually deal with these comments nonchalantly and choose to ignore since I know myself quite well and I know the people who matter to me, know me too. And isn't that what matters anyway? 

 However, it is quite a feat to deal with when the people who attack you were your friends and/or someone you were close to at one point in your life. More so, if the people who attack you are middle aged women who should not be dealing with these nonsensical issues nor fighting the battles of their next of kin and then glorifying and calling their actions and behavior as tasteful and classy. I think people at that age should have more things to worry about but I guess maturity does not come with age. I consider people who fall under this category uneducated, childish and for lack of a better world, classless. They do not know how to pick their fights and more so, they are not at all discerning, but rather spiteful, vengeful and cruel. Instead of worrying about their life's mission, finances, rearing their children to be decent Christians, they inject themselves in situations where they shouldn't and of course, hit below the belt. Instead of being "judgmental" and sitting on their high horse, consider the facts: that they are financially, emotionally and morally bankrupt. I can only imagine the values and examples they set for their children and given that I was raised by parents who reared me to value God, charity and education above anything else, I pity their offspring. It might provide a semi-acceptable excuse to their behavior and since I majored in Psychology and know that personality traits are byproducts of both nature and nurture...but still everyone has a choice with regards to how they react to certain situations.  Having a parent who instigates and supports ill behavior is quite the recipe for disaster. But I am guessing self-discipline and ethics are something we learn and that involves a certain level of educational attainment to practice on a constant basis.

To whoever you are (I am so tempted to name you but will not unless you push further): STOP. I have been victimized quite a lot by you and my family has been victimized by your ever so dysfunctional one to the point you have treated a member of our family so poorly it proves only poor breeding, said certain allegations to people about us without thinking it could be traced back to you. It has, and quite a number of people can back me up on this one. I agreed to not saying anything about you which you agreed to do as well-which I have fulfilled until the so-called hate mail you sent which violated the said agreement. I have sympathized, empathized and believed you even if the evidence and proof contradicted everything because you were my friend and I valued that -at some degree but now, that you have once again hit below the belt, I will not stand back and condone such behavior. That would only make me an enabler, no different from your predecessor. You have continued to point out my so called "dysmorphic disorder", how I look like a "tranny" (vocabulary, please!) and made my sickness some perverted source of amusement and that is hitting below the belt. 

You have to have some form of major mental disorder to poke fun at someone's illness and laugh about it as if it were some sport. Finding it a laughing point that someone takes medications to keep them healthy is cruel. It's not funny. It will never be funny and no one who is not as mentally deranged as you will ever laugh about it. More so, it is not amusing to do such things while still using certain articles of clothing given by me to you. Study, earn your high school diploma and eventually your college diploma and live your life to fullest. Instead of putting me to shame over my health problems, which I have no control over, be ashamed of everything you have failed at, that you had complete control over. Hating on someone doesn't make you a better person. Saying these things won't give you intelligence or breeding- acting like a decent person will and achieving things that surpass the superficial and physical should be what you are concentrating on. So STOP. For your own good, stop. I have been practicing patience for quite some time and I will continue to do so but please, stop your low blows and below the belt comments...for lack of a better reason than just doing what is right.

Now on to my outfit post...in my favorite colors of Black, White and Pink...

Adornment is never anything except a reflection of the heart.
                                                       -Coco Chanel
Everyone pays so much attention to how women dress:

"We should wear three-piece suits, look just like men, and dress for success."
"Women who get raped were asking for it by the way they dressed."
"Men like women who dress in a feminine fashion. It makes men feel more masculine."

Is it any wonder that we sometimes feel confused about what seems right for us to wear?

What if the way we dress is simply a reflection of our hearts? What if our main criterion for beauty is what feels good on our bodies and reflects who we are? What if we wear colors because we like them and not because they are "our colors" or makes us look thin? This opens up all kinds of possibilities, doesn't it?


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