Aug 5, 2014

On Tears, Lies and Alibis (While Daydreaming in Pink and Blue)

I am almost always in neutral like cream, white or beige or black for court appearances. Yes, for those of you who do not know, I am going to court as I have pressed charges against someone who I thought was my friend but ended up physically assaulting know the back story to all that, CLICK HERE. Anyway, I was feeling a bit colorful that day and my mood needed it since I was already getting upset by the other party's delaying tactics that I knew that this day would be no different. Apparently not. 

Time and again, pink has proven to be a lucky color of mine and finally, progress in my favor was finally granted. I loved how I was able to make these colors work and more so, I was proud to be wearing this in a moment of yet another small victory. Scroll down below for my views on setting the record straight on how I view honesty and value the truth as a very important currency.

Pink Blazer with Gold Buttons: Zara
Blue and White Pinstriped Button Down Shirt: Zara Basic
White Trousers: Mango
Blue Suede Tie-Up Shoes: Zara
Pearls: Mikimoto
Watch: Rolex
Ring: My Collection
Bangles: Cartier, Tiffany, Louis Vuitton, BVLGARI, Charriol
Sunglasses: Prada
Cabas Chyc Bag: Yves Saint Laurent

Hair Extensions by: STYLD. Hair Extension
Photos by: Celyn Jaravata


Many people have asked me to drop this. Some (from the other camp) even committed the fallacy of argumentum ad misericordiam by using my relatives (particularly my aunts) as "connections" and as bridges to get what they want and talk me out of this. While the practical, fuss-free and "easy way out" solution would be to just carry on, there is one thing I know to be true: IT IS NEVER COOL TO KEEP QUIET. I look back at history and all the tragedies that happened and if there is something I have noticed: it is that 98% of the atrocities could have been avoided if someone...anyone...spoke against the injustices that they saw were being committed. Archbishop Desmond Tutu once said, "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor." I believe this to be true. In keeping silent about evil and evil acts, we are implanting it. Not speaking up is just as bad as doing the atrocities. 

Some people I know though- people I have actually been good "friends" with for a certain period of time- are pathological liars. They will lie about anything, no matter how big or small, out of compulsion or insecurity or as often is the case: they're just out of touch with reality. I am horrified by people like them. Their stories do not often add up and they get caught in a lie, which I just used to ignore (a mistake) but now have learned to call them out on it. I used to just pretend what they're saying was true while politely nodding my head even though deep inside, I am freaking out. Bottom line: having a pathological liar for a friend is NOT fun and I would not prescribe it to anyone.

This girl who has hurt me- emotionally, physically and psychologically- is someone I have known to lie about EVERYTHING. She claimed to study in certain universities and colleges even though she has not even earned her high school diploma. She once told me she couldn't bear to live without my brother (her then significant other) and was so depressed to the point of locking herself in her room... only for me to find out that after a long exchange of text messages and calls to me, she was spotted partying a club and clinging to other guys. When someone tells you something that is blatantly a lie- I didn't know how to react back then... I mean, what do you say exactly? I learned that you can let them know that what they are telling you is just  hard to believe but you can't be too in-your-face about it. WHY? Because I know that 100% of the time, compulsive liars believe their own stories. I won't sugar-coat it- they are in fact- DELUSIONAL. And sometimes, it's not worth trying to fight it. I tried to tiptoe out the backdoor away from this kind of friendship. I mean I understand why it may be considered "chic" to lie about one's history but...WHY? Why do people need to do it? Why do people need to lie to their closest friends- people who know the real score? I kind of understand having to lie to acquaintances BUT SURELY NOT TO YOUR CLOSE FRIENDS. That is different. That is betrayal. 

To be fair though, I think compulsive lying is a symptom of a much larger problem- one that is probably a type of MENTAL DISORDER. Thankfully, I have since cut off these liars from my life and if one of my friends starts feeding me BS, I will be quick to call them out on it. The truth is this: with even an inch of perspective on things like these, I believe you will find that you are glad to be rid of those people. Looking back, I absolutely have NO respect for her or what she did or the culture that allowed her to think that what she did was okay. Even if I was branded as a humorless bitch who stirs up trouble and chaos, trust me that you will one day feel amazing that you no longer associate (not assosiate) with the kind of people who could do something like that. In the moment when it happens and you cut them off, it can be incredible painful. We all want to think we would want to be accepted, to have friends, to feel cool. 

If like me, you've seen the other side and have been on the receiving end of such cruel acts, losing respect for these people is brutal. Any person who would do things like these never had respect for you not just as a friend but as a person and there is nothing cool about being quiet when you see ugly things/ ugly acts happening.

If you know it is wrong- say something is wrong. ALWAYS. Just because all people lie a little bit doesn't mean they should always get away with it. At the end of the day, (and sooner than you think), you'll forget about these people and everything they said about you. But you always have to live with yourself.

xx, JL

On that note, granted I've explained on how I was able to cope with letting go of toxic people in my life, allow me to show you how much I value the people I do plan to keep. This was a cake made by Babobscakes (the same ones who did the Nutella-Kiwi-KitKat cake from last Friday) for my long-time Yaya and Dorota. Yaya Armi... I just had to post is because it is in theme with the outfit I wore.

The flavor is: Pink and Blue Meringue Icing with Chocolate Base and Dulce De Leche!
 La Dolce Vita! 

On that note--- 


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