Jan 21, 2014

Life For Rent

Low Cut Sleevess Jumpsuit: Zara | Inner Tanktop: Topshop | Gold Metallic Mirror Clutch Bag: Gold Dot | Gold Ankle Strap Metallic Heels: Zara | Black Aviator Sunglasses: Prada | Metallic Belt: Versace | Beaded Bracelets: Therapy | Bangle:  Charriol | Watch: Rolex

I decided to tone down the pace a bit and dress up in a simple black and gold ensemble this time around as I was feeling casual and basically had to do my round-trip doctor's appointments (the first of this year) It is funny how different my life has become... the hospital corridor has somewhat become my runway because where else will I wear my pretty outfits? From being a hard core party girl I find myself going to check ups than drink catch ups which is by the way fine with me. I accept whatever life throws at me. I welcome change openly. This jumpsuit has a very business casual feel to it and I bought it thinking I could perhaps pair it and make it more casual by wearing it with a neon bandeau top. But granted that is not appropriate for the destination, I had to opt for a tanktoip instead. The bandeau idea took the back seat and maybe that could be reserved for next time...if I get to repeat wearing the jumper again...which in reality, I don't. I accessorized with Gold metallic accessories and of course my thin strapped ankle strap sandals from Zara which I must say more appropriate for a cocktail attire, but you know me, I make my own rules. Besides, when would I get to wear this pair? I And just like that, my outfits have also changed... I'm less into frill and frou frou (though I will occasionally still wear one every now and then just to surprise everyone) and more into basic outfits... classic and clean with the hint of my attitude sans the studs and spikes because I don't think doctors would appreciate that and so will hospital security who might consider spikes as a "deadly weapon." Even my bodyguard Bal would agree on this subject. But its okay, worst things can happen.

The funny fact of life is: People change and forget to tell each other. People tell me this all the time. Given my social awkwardness and introverted personality, people always tell me they feel almost always out of the loop when it comes to me and my decisions. It could be as simple and mundane as my hairstyle or to something major like a business or a relationship or a life-altering decision. Since I hate all aspects of non-P2P interactions, I forget to give everyone the 411. What to do? Perhaps send a monthly newsletter? My life is an open book as it is anyway so I have nothing to hide.  After all, how tenaciously we cling on to the illusion that we will get our lives in order and they will stay that way. Naturally the won't...SURPRISE! We are so resistant to the normal process of change. We often feel personally attacked if someone near and dear to us changes without clearing those changes with us first (as if we even have the right to that!) We have somehow come to believe that security and stasis are synonymous. I know I used to think that way.

But the thing I realized after all this time is that change is the manifestation of our ability to grow and become. When it occurs in the nearest and dearest to us- it is an opportunity of celebration. When it happens within ourselves, it allows us to share ourselves on a new level. And when we try to hide these changes, conceal them, and protect others from the awareness of these changes, ultimately we are being dishonest. Then we begin to question our relationships when the fact of the matter is: No one can care for who we are unless they know who we are. The only constant thing in life is change. We should've learned to accept that and work around that by now.

xx, JL

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