Nov 6, 2013

This Is A Shirt, Not A Dress

Oversized Sports Jersey Shirt (used as dress): Zara TRF | Shoes: Alexander Wang | Red Sling Bag with Chain: Chanel | Beaded Bracelets: Therapy | Sunglasses: Charles and Keith | Ring: Forever 21 | Watch: Swatch

The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not and never persist in trying to set people right. 

- Hanna Whitall Smith 


Someone gave me useful advice that day, and it went like this: "JL, again, that is a shirt...not a dress." Of course since I know better that I am petite and granted I am not one who usually cares, I graciously accepted the advice and let it go. Then I did it my way. Of course the person who gave me such sound advice and I had a good laugh about it and went on along. It was just all so very refreshing not to have someone force their will on you.

How tempting it is to fight battles that are not ours, and to give our opinion even when it is not sought. The thing is, we should actually probably never give advice, even when someone asks for it (because most of the time, the advice they seek are the ones they want to hear). However, it is often helpful to give information- lay down the facts- and then let it go. Too often, even when we are in our mid-life and should be concentrating on how to improve our lives, we get invested in information and are so sure of our rightness that we have to make certain that the other person accepts it. Somehow, deep inside of us, their acceptance of our information is directly tied to our self-worth. How glorious it is to be right and see other people doing as we have bid them! If people don't accept our advice or act on it, we are somehow not liked, respected, valued, and a whole string of negative adjectives. It is only when we let go and let others do as they please and not meddle in other people's lives, that we can say we are truly sound and healthy. 

See, we can give our 5-cents worth on anything but we have to realize that THAT is as far as it goes. How other people use our advice (or choose not to)- is far beyond our concern. I know we all have good information to share. It is more likely to be heard when you give it and then let go.
(Yes, meddling 57/58-year old woman, I am talking to you...)

I am only telling you me. 

xx, JL

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