Nov 28, 2013

Thank You Frailty, Thank You Consequence, Thank You, Thank You Silence...

Asymmetrical Low-Cut Tank Dress: Oxygen | Plain Black Bandeau: La Senza | Motorcycle Bag with Silver Grommet and Studs: Balenciaga | Spiked 6.5-inch Vinyl Boots: DAS | Razor Blade Designed Statement Necklace: Anthology | Black and Gold Studded Cuff: Grommet by Glitterati | Eyeglasses: Ozeal

How about getting off of these antibiotics
How about stopping eating when I'm filled up
How about them transparent dangling carrots
How about that ever elusive kudo

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

How about me not blaming you for everything
How about me enjoying the moment for once
How about how good it feels to finally forgive you
How about grieving it all one at a time 

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

The moment I let go of it was
The moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it was
The moment I touched down

How about no longer being masochistic
How about remembering your divinity
How about unabashedly bawling your eyes out
How about not equating death with stopping 

- Thank You, Alanis Morissette

 I went ombre for a day and decided I am way too conservative (with my hair I mean) to carry off the risque style. Contrary to popular belief, I may like my hair light and I have gone severely blonde, but there is something about just having one color tone that appeals to me. Apparently, I am still not as edgy as I would like to be and even in this all black ensemble, complete with the spiked higher than high boots, I knew I had to recolor it back and revert to my original monotone hue. I tried my best but I felt like a half-baked peroxide Barbie crossed over with  The Pretty Reckless' Taylor Momsen... with hot pink lips and black smokey eyes too.

I have had so many victories over the years... victories for which I am grateful. I may complain and rant about it ever so often yet I do consider myself quite successful in life, and in being a decent human being in general. Success and the realization that I have come across it offers me the opportunity to reflect on those who have given me much and to be grateful for their gifts. There is a saying that goes, "though a tree grow ever so high, the falling leaves return to the ground." I believe this to be true. Most of us climb the ladder to success and tend to forget where we came from and of course, the circumstances and people who have helped in paving the way for our success. True, many of us work for and aspire for professional and personal success. We have worked long and hard to get to where we are, and we deserve the rewards of our position. 

It is important that we periodically take time to take stock of where we are and who we are. Do we judge ourselves by our accomplishments? Does accomplishment mean worthiness in our book? How have we been able to get where we are, and do we feel good about ourselves about the way we did it? Do we need to make amends to some people and express gratitude to others? Such are the things that are coming to my mind, today, most of all, being that it is Thanksgiving and all. It is important to recognize our achievements not only speak well for u, they speak well for those persons and forces, seen, unseen and unnoticed that have been active in our lives.

When one takes time off one's busy and thriving lives, it is impossible not to be struck by the immensity of gratitude we have to express. When one is at peace with one's self, gratitude comes in a form that it peaceful... serene and more gentle... perhaps also more sincere. This peacefulness permeates through a person and it is something I have come to admire with only a handful of people I have come across. There are many times, granted, that we feel that if everything is not perfect, then we cannot be grateful for anything. I am the first to admit that I am one to easily fall into all-or-nothing thinking and I end up missing the hope and promise of a new day, and the other forms of goodness that surrounds me, even at my darkest hour. 

The bottom line is: I have learned that I am grateful. Perhaps, that is enough. I am grateful.

xx, JL

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