Dec 2, 2013

Because I'm doing this for the thrill of it, killin' it

Batwing Cotton Oversized Asymmetrical Hem Shirt: Zara | Leather Lame Leggings: Topshop | Python Footglove Shoe Boot Wedges: Christian Siriano | Lilac Beads Rosary Necklace: Fashion Galore | Marcie Satchel Bag: Chloe | Hamsa Stacked Beaded Bracelets: Therapy | Perfect Donut Bun Maker: Glitterati

Don't you think that it's boring how people talk
Making smart with their words again, well I'm bored
Because I'm doing this for the thrill of it, killin' it
Never not chasing a million things I want
And I am only as young as the minute is full of it
Getting pumped up from the little bright things I bought
But I know they'll never own me

Baby be the class clown
I'll be the beauty queen in tears
It's a new art form showing people how little we care 

 We're so happy, even when we're smilin' out of fear
Let's go down to the tennis court, and talk it up like yeah 

Pretty soon I'll be getting on my first plane
I'll see the veins of my city like they do in space
But my head's filling up fast with the wicked games, up in flames
How can I fuck with the fun again, when I'm known
And my boys trip me up with their heads again, loving them
Everything's cool when we're all in line for the throne
But I know it's not forever

- Tennis Court, Lorde

 I am happy for days when I can have the option to choose what I wear and how I dress. This is perhaps the most laidback outfit I have worn ever... it was quite a long time that I decided to dress down but since I was on hospital duty (Andrew my boyfriend was confined in the hospital for a week) and I was already on 4th day of no sleep and Coco Quench fast, I was bound to just get whatever was on the top pile on my closet. I just worked my accessories around it to make it more stylish. I've come to realize the power of accessorizing: they can make or break an outfit and they can also add instant glamor to a look and at the same time, tame it down or tone it down a few notches. Ah, the magic a few bags, shoes and jewelry choices can do!

It's fun to have the freedom to do as you please and not give a damn about whatever anyone has to say about it. Granted, I know that freedom comes with the knowledge you also are supposed to be accountable for your actions, I think I live more happily and worry-free. I am free to be me... The real me anyway, and anyone who doesn't want to accept that can stay away, as I have no room for people like that in my life. More so, I dislike rude and uncouth people especially those who question you as if they know better which is why I did practice my freedom to speak and berate, at maximum capacity, as I just hate it when people using troll accounts say mean things because they don't put their name or face behind it. People ask me why I bother putting up with them and my answer is that it is not a challenge really...I enjoy putting people who put me down out and it's always a healthy exercise to verbally spar with grammatically challenge fools. I am just practicing my freedom to respond back to scrutiny and stupidity the best way I know how. I would think that by now, people would be smart enough to know not to cross me or my sister Dominique but apparently, some people have not learned. Either that or they have a death wish. Regardless of whatever moronic force of nature influenced them to berate someone who can retort 100x back, these people are free to do as they please as I am free to retaliate as I please. We choose our struggles and battles, that is what being free is about. Freedom is not a concept wherein we can run out in a meadow, with bird chirping and butterfly wings fluttering in the background. Freedom is tough and most of the time it involves the knitty gritty. After all, life is not a fairy tale. Freedom is not about the bright and shiny things, we must understand that when we fight for it and when we do attain it, we should not expect glitters and rainbows and butterflies... Freedom comes with choices. Choices come with options and sometimes having to pick and weigh things in terms of Opportunity Cost is a difficult task. I would say it is burdensome.

But it was also said that, "Freedom means choosing your burdens."

All too often, we complain about not having enough freedom. History is a long story that is written about the fight for freedom. Many have died for freedom's sake. Battles were fought, revolutions started, wars established and millions of lives lost for that concept. What worries me is that people need to remember: No one has complete and absolute freedom. Complete freedom is a myth that is terrifying to most and a dream-filled illusion for others. While we are wrestling with our terror of complete freedom, or fighting the constrictions in our lives, we forget the certain freedoms we already have. We have the freedom to choose our burdens. Whatever our choices, we have made them. They are ours. We have the freedom to live with them, and that should be enough. I have chosen my burdens, I see so much freedom in that. For that, I have so much to be thankful for. 

xx, JL

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