Fade In-Out

“But we all want to be together – we want to be a part of something. That in trying to be accepted, wanting to be, I guess, equal to each other – that’s where we fall down, that’s where we end up needing to be saved.” 

-Kim Culbertson, The Liberation of Max McTrue

 I wore this cream on cream ensemble on a routine hospital visit which is characterized by making rounds to my many doctor's clinics and having all my check-ups. This was on the 20th, the so-called "D-Day" (also known as the Dumped Day) and to purge myself of the relationship and everything that had to do with it, I just had to wear a neutral and clean outfit. When in doubt, classic and clean with a bit of neurosis always works. I was quite surprised I was able to still pull an outfit together and more so, wear something that made sense since I felt like my bed was swallowing me whole and literally it all came crashing with no warning, no tell-tale signs...no nothing... just a tsunami that just slams on to you. It was all so very dire and sad but now on to better things...

I have been raised in a traditional way- ever since I was young, I was made to believe that I should achieve. It was like an unwritten and unsaid thing but it was something you understand from the get-go. This is probably why I decided to go to a university where a double degree so I can study my passion- Psychology and at the same time have a Marketing Management degree...since a Corporate job was more or less what I was expected to do. I decided to go against better judgment and instead pursue the former. It isn't that I suck at math and numbers... actually quite the opposite happened because the obsessive compulsive in me found comfort in a clean spread sheet and in balancing numbers... liability versus assets. The opportunity cost and the fact that everything was so very exact appealed to me. But I always knew that working a corporate job wasn't exactly for me. I am sure all of you know this- but getting an important position in a good company is an exacting feat...so I've heard. I am sure many of you have worked long and hard to get where you are and it is because of this hard work that you are proud of your achievements...I mean...rightfully so.

 

Success demands sacrifice and focus and we have learned to do both. We have put our work before everything else in our life. We have learned to compete and compromise. We have learned to dress like men and hold our own circle of men. We have learned to be tough and to "come on strong" when we need to. We had this notion that it's a man's world and possible, some of us have unknowingly have allowed that to happen. We have learned to play the game. But one of the most painful learnings that I have had is that the skills that work in business just do not work in our homes and our personal relationships. Luckily, for some of us, including myself- the knowledge of knowing a value system (kudos to my mom!) that does contribute to living comes naturally, and I only had to learn what works at work and apply it only there. 

Again, unfortunately, in the process of learning a "career value system," we are encouraged to denigrate our lives and sometimes, we succumb to the pressure. It is not that are values are wrong. They just become different. And indeed...the workplace would be richer with them. Trusting our value system can be a major contribution to our work. However, I have to say that it is easy to lose ourselves in the process. It helps to have some time to stop and see what has happened to us in this process and quest of wanting more. Ultimately, we have to ask: Are we persons we want to be? 

Button Down Semi-Sheer Crepe Classic Shirt: SheInside.com | Cream Skinny Jeans with Studded Pocket Details: Mango| Canvas Beige Satchel bag: Nina Ricci| Sunnies: Route 17 | Bangles: Forever 21 and Suiteblanco |Watch: Rolex | Two-Toned Ankle Strap Beige Shoes: Zara

xx, JL

Anyway, if you are into online shopping (like me!) then I would gladly recommend SheInside.com for your shopping needs. I love this store so much and have ordered more than a dozen times already! They have so many awesome products which are unique and one of a kind and (my favorite) are absolutely affordable. Add the fact that they are one of the few stores that offer direct to your house delivery (hurray for no customs charges!)--- then I would say this is the most perfect site to meet every woman's sartorial needs.

Visit: http://www.sheinside.com

Here is a wishlist I came up for this summer of my must-haves from the site...CHECK IT OUT...