Jun 27, 2013

Paradise City


Blazer: Mango | Peach Cropped Laser Cut Cotton Top: Ever New | Aztec Print Tribal Pants: Bershka | Heel-less Studded Shoes: DAS | Bag: Marc Jacobs Stam Bag | Watch and Cuff: Charriol | Stacked Bracelets: Forever21 | Pearl Earrings: Mikimoto

Some people need to take responsibility for their actions. That's all a part of growing up. Sometimes, a twist of fate or a nudge (or several) on you forces your hand and you accept the harsh reality that sometimes, you need to be responsible for other people's actions as well... Even if it was you who was hurt and injured in the process, you have to man up and be inconvenienced, take it as part of the ever growing list of responsibilities and tasks piling up in your to-do list - a not so small sacrifice to pay in one's quest for justice to be served. And as if life was not tough enough, people who have wronged you even find creative and even more sinister ways to make you miss certain obligations. Ah, the ways of the world! Sometimes I begin to wonder if instead of coming up with these schemes, people used all this energy and channel it on their work, then they probably would not be in the financial bind they are in. A misguided sense of priorities, I reckon?

The day I wore this neutral outfit was one such fine day when I had to be a responsible citizen and make an appearance even if it was I who was on the receiving end of certain blows (literally). I received rather a scathing scheme of a letter that ultimately failed in its purpose as I remain unscathed and shrugged it off, dress up and went on my day. Suffice to say, I did quite a good job pairing and mixing and matching neutral hues and I am quite proud with how I looked despite the pressure. I never dress to make people feel bad about  or for me. I dress not to look like I am in duress, I dress to impress, and impress I always do. It's just not me to be all defenseless, power dressing is so more up my league. Sarcasm aside, and with wit on my side, what can I say? When life gives me lemonades, I make lemons. And life will be all like, "WHAT?"  

That is the prevailing culture I was raised in- to be able to have the power to rise above despite every situation. My parents are not really advocates of the whole "be all emotional, cry your heart out and feel how wronged you were, let's throw you a pity party" school of thought and I learned to unsubscribed from such way of thinking at such a young age. I learned never to be defeated and to fight the tribulations and trials that come my way- head on, guns blazing. Steve Maraboli once said, "You are not a victim. No matter what you have been through, you're still here. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you. You are still here! You have been delayed but not denied. You are not a victim, you are a victor. You have a history of victory." And what a better place the world would be if we all thought this way, wouldn't it be?


We live in a world of victims. Unfortunately, everyone who truly believes he/she is a victim usually is or will become a perpetrator. That's the truth of it. Whether we realize it or not, the moment we admit to being a victim, we want to get someone. Victim psychology creates perpetrators large and small. Yet there is another way. Many of us have been victimized and yet we never became victims. We are formed by our traumas and ultimately it is up to us what to do with the traumatic events that we have experienced. Instead of moving to the victim role, and the perpetrating, we can admit the trauma, deal with the feelings, get the learnings and integrate those lessons into becoming a person who is responsible for our lives. After all, the perpetrator has to deal with what she/he/they did. That's none of our business.

We cannot have a world where everyone is a victim. We cannot cry out and be excused from the ramifications of our actions and say, "I'm this way because my family made me this way..." "I'm this way because she made me this way..." Yes, it is true we are formed by traumas that happen to us. We cannot prevent traumas from happening to us. What we do with them is up to us. 

Ultimately, YOU must take charge, YOU must take over, YOU are responsible. 
“Today is a new day. Don't let your history interfere with your destiny! Let today be the day you stop being a victim of your circumstances and start taking action towards the life you want. You have the power and the time to shape your life. Break free from the poisonous victim mentality and embrace the truth of your greatness. You were not meant for a mundane or mediocre life!” 


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