Jun 20, 2013

All That Matters

Floral Mullet Backless Dress: Wardrobe Check | Studded Shoes: Zara | Envelope Clutch Bag: Gold Couture 

I wear what I wear because I want to wear it. I never sacrifice my style or who I am just to satisfy people. The same applies to when I dress up or pick my outfit. I specifically wore this dress even if the high low cut is "so last season" according to people because I wanted to and well, I was feeling girly that day and this dress with the lovely print was a good choice to represent that. Trends, seasons, what is in and what is out have no meaning for me. My philosophy is simple: If I like it, I like it. I wear it. 
I don't mind if people have a mouthful to say about it. I don't care about criticism because I have learned for a long time to live for myself and not for the opinion of other people. This blatant disregard and arrogance with regards to my detractors is, I have to say, what has gotten me in trouble many times. But I can't change who I am.

I usually get myself into situations that cause sparks. I mean I am a girl who likes the storms. I love feeling alive.

People always ask me why I feel the need to call out people who make a mess out of their lives. My reply is always that I cannot condone or watch someone with so much to live for throw it all away. Call me judgmental, condescending or supercilious, but I will not stand by idle because I value life and I love living. British Author, Agatha Christie explained it best when she said, “I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow; but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.” 

Isn't that such a wonderful thought? My crusade to have people value their lives has been such a consistent thing with me and I can choke this up to the fact that I was raised by parents who always put an emphasis on INTEGRITY. You see, integrity is so easily perishable in times and seasons of success. Most people I know sacrifice it to get to where they are, some people hold on to it but lose it when they've enjoyed the benefits of what they've reaped. 

I always ask myself this question: "have I let my integrity slip in order to succeed? Have there been times I was willing to look the other way or take the easy way out in order to avoid conflict or to gain acceptance?" These questions, which I reflect on so often, keep me in check. Granted I am self-deprecating, I am my worst critic and there are times when I would sit back and maneuver to another direction when I see that I do not like the person I am becoming...times when I myself, lose the value and importance I give my life and make nothing of myself, or when I stand by idle and become a passive bystander witnessing bad things being done and doing nothing about it.

Every day, I am faced with opportunities to sacrifice my integrity on issues that may be of utmost importance or on ones  that appear  insignificant. Without integrity, there is no way that I would be able to look at myself in the mirror and feel good about who I am. Success and loss of integrity do not always have to be synonymous. In fact, the true successes require great integrity.

So pursue things even if they may cause sparks. Fight for your cause. Don't falter. Don't lose your tongue just so you can be accepted and liked. Live without a filter... and don't apologize for the decision that you make because at the end of the day, when you stop and look at the decisions you made, realizing that you have lost your integrity or let it slip away, is going to be one of the biggest regrets you will face. Reconnecting to it and gaining it back might prove to be an impossible feat. And then what will you have left?

xx, JL

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