Oct 27, 2012

Wide Awake

I'm wide awake
Yeah, I was in the dark
I was falling hard
With an open heart
I'm wide awake
How did I read the stars so wrong?
I'm wide awake
And now it's clear to me
That everything you see
Ain't always what it seems
I'm wide awake
Yeah, I was dreaming for so long

Top: Be Like A Star | Shorts: Zara | Heels: Glaze | Bag: Chanel

This was what I wore for the First  Day of The Superb by SuperSale Bazaar over at the World Trade Center which was quite a successful albeit very tiring but utterly worth it weekend. I have had this very cute top in my stack pile of clothes since forever and I love how it goes beyond being just peplum and instead went on full force as it has a full peplum with eyelet lace effect at the bottom area, which makes it such a sweet, dainty and it has a certain doll-effect to it. Since the top was quite busy (with its already full floral watercolor print and the eyelet details to make the top fluffier), I decided to take it simple and wear it instead with plain high waisted shorts from Zara which were comfortable and very very easy to wear (I had to constantly remind myself not to sit just anywhere though as I have that bad habit of doing that.) Bazaar days are always always fun for me especially since I get to hangout with friends (the organizers of the bazaar) and help out in any way I can. It was a busy first day and I am thankful to everyone who came.

Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me...And all you're ever gonna be is mean....Why you gotta be so mean?

Aside from being a fun-filled and fulfilling weekend, it was also nice to take a break and totally have no time to stop and think about the negative things happening or being done to me and to the people I consider near and dear to me courtesy of this ridiculous chilidish Burn Book site which I must say, is a new kind of LOW, even for haters. I had absolutely zero internet access which was I must say, quite refreshing because I had zero news, updates or access to all the online hate happening. It's good to leave the cyber world, I reckon, and devote all your time and effort in the real world. I have quite a lot of friends outside that so-called cyber sphere, and treasure these relationships.. I had a blast with most of them this weekend. It's nice to compartmentalize really and more so, maintain, protect and not take for granted the non-cyber-based relationships in your life. That's why I will never be consumed by this made up world filled of burning, name calling and backstabbing with bitter resentment and jealousy of who said what, who someone really is and what not.

 You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard...Calling me out when I'm wounded...You picking on the weaker man

 When it comes down to it: Real world problems and situations> Cyber world problems and situations any time. I guess some people forget that and fail to separate the day to day knitty gritty reality and make it their mission, their mark, their goal in life to leave scars and break people (or at least try to), because as far as I am concerned, whatever has happened did not break me. In fact, it made me stronger and more assertive on my rights and on what I stand for. I guess I also had to learn the hard way that no matter how much you want to be just "yourself", people (especially some people you used to know) will always find reason to hate you for it, and that really, the best thing you can do is not give them the satisfaction of breaking you down -something that they so desperately need. I never took offense in people and just let them be, because really, I don't think anyone's personality is so hateful that one has to result to troll accounts to call them out for who they are. Live and let live, as I always say. So when it was me on the chopping block, I just laughed and disregarded it. I didn't really care. So I stayed quiet, kept calm and carried on despite the fully loaded daggers sent my way. I had so much to do anyway and so many real life issues to deal with. People might find me condescending and having a "holier than thou"  perception on the industry...Call it a coping mechanism but sometimes, that's what you have to do to make it through the trolling, bullying, fakeness and hate.

 I never cared to explain myself to anyone else or even defend myself because at the end of the day, the people who matter, know the truth and those who will take all those lies and believe in them as "truths" are really, not worth my time or effort. Seeing to it that the bashing did not stop there, and involved my family, however, I stopped taking the high road and decided to fight back. What I always say is when something is being said about me, I usually put it aside and laugh off the ridicule and accusations. But when it comes to saying things about my loved ones, expect for me to declare war.

 You, with your switching sides, And your wildfire lies and your humiliation...You have pointed out my flaws again...As if I don't already see them

 Some people don't need to stoop so low, really. I will not divulge any more information as I find it is time to just let the truth and the legalities of it all, speak for itself. As for me, I will never hide under anonymous to make my point. I will put my name in everything I will say...because knowing the responsibility it takes to be accountable not only yourself for your actions, but also accountable to the people who look up to you and read on about what you have to say...is at the end of the day, what integrity is all about. 

Hope that made sense! Have a fun-filled and relaxing weekend, everyone!

xx, JL

I love to SHOP at MANGO!

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