Sep 5, 2013

La La Land

LA T-Shirt: Topshop | Skinny Jeans: Zara | Sunglasses: Mango | Studded Pumps: Michael Antonio | Bag: Chanel 2.55

Rebel Girl in an all black ensemble as I was feeling dark and broody on the day I wore this due to the unavoidable and inevitable part of daily living: having to deal with other people. Quite the introvert, I learned at a very young age that people are flawed and being so, are therefore hard to trust. The whole nurturing relationships thing was never a strong suit of mine since I can be quite cut throat and unforgiving especially if I feel I have been maligned by someone I allowed myself to trust. I rarely give second chances and when I cut, I sever ties cleanly- no castoff, fingerprint or splatter. I guess it goes to show I am one of those, "I want to forgive you but I also want to forget you" people. I have been quite vocal about this and granted I lack a filter, I have emphasized this many times... probably because with the amount of dedication and loyalty  attach to each relationship I nurture, I find that it is a waste of time, energy and resource to continue to build one over betrayals and deceit. I am very protective of myself and I can be quite heartless when it comes to cutting people out and shutting my life from  them.


Anger has never been an easy emotion. We get angry when we are passed over for promotions or opportunities. We get angry when no one listens. We get angry when our ideas are not heard and even angrier when these same ideas are declared fantastic when someone else presents them. We get angry when we are so strung out and exhausted that we find ourselves yelling at and hurting those we love the most. Then we become angry about being angry, and we try to "control ourselves."

I've been on complete opposing poles when it comes to dealing with anger, and I have done the whole nine yards. I have experienced how it is to react and feed my anger and go on a rage blackout and I have also experienced how it is like to push them aside and be all passive aggressive or maybe, worse, apathetic. Both were extremes and not exactly recommended poles to be in. It is important to remember that feelings are just THAT... feelings. It is absolutely normal for us to have feelings, and it is normal for us to feel anger. Anger is only harmful when it is held in and "starved." When we hold it in, it builds and we find ourselves exploding on innocent people (especially the wrong targets) in the most astounding circumstances. The we end up feeling bad about ourselves and getting anger backlash from others. All this can be avoidable if we know how to process our anger, not to repress it and most especially not direct it towards all the wrong people as a means of displacing our emotions by physically attacking them. If we are not careful, after all, we may end up hurting other people and also, hurting ourselves. We need to find safe places and channels to let our anger out. We can respect our anger. We should learn to accept it. It lets us know when something is wrong. Ultimately, we need to realize that at the end of the day, anger is not the problem. What we decided to do with it is.

xx, JL


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