Mar 23, 2014

Cross walks and crossed hearts and hope-to-dies, silver clouds with grey linings

Whenever people give me societal measures on who you are as a person and what ultimately defines you; I tend to disregard it. It is a sad but unfortunate truth that now, apparently, a person is often judged based on their social ranks, their popularity, their social media presence, the number of friends they have, the amount of money they earn, the brands they wear, how hard they had to fight for their job and "where they are now", their prestige, the awards they attained, their merits etc. I never saw these as true measures of a person because I believe that ultimately, they are all very shallow. I've come across people who have been sucked in by their popularity that they tend to live their life like a television show. I have come across those who think it's either Balenciaga or bust, when it comes to picking who they choose to be with. More so, I have had first hand experience with people who are supposed to be "educated" and have attained "prestigious" (in their own minds anyway) awards who end up to be the most cruel, vindictive and vile people ever and I find it all too sad really. When you are dealing with someone who is supposedly helping heal people with disabilities, you would expect some compassion... no matter what...which is why it turns me off that these people who are supposed to exhibit care and concern as per the oaths they have taken on are apparently only doing it because they are paid to do it or because the world is watching. These reasons, as stated, are probably why I  disregard all measures as dictated by society and instead put emphasis on INTEGRITY as what I value most. As Oprah Winfrey put it, "Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody is going to know whether you did it or not." Now, don't you think that is a much more accurate and appropriate measure of defining someone?

I have come to learn that when you've come to experience life in a deeper and more meaningful way, you cannot deny the fact that ultimately, prestige or power do not matter and they will never define your value as a person. I have been on the brink of situations where my life was on the line more often than most people my age, I think... and I have no idea if you would share these same realizations as me. The fact is, I think that I have experienced events in my life that I have come to the point that I no longer get impressed by socially acceptable and determined standards of achievement and accomplishment. As Shania Twain sang, "that don't impress me much..." I mean it would be taken into account of course just to validate a person's values... but having all these academic honors, achievements, awards, status, following or pay grade will never impress me as much as encountering a person of integrity would. This is the thing that matters to me the most. One of the pitfalls of trying to achieve so much and stretching ourselves too thin is opening the door for a slippage of our integrity. We feel so tired, we feel so strung out. Surely just this little shortcut or just a tiny attempt at revenge for entertainment purpose won't matter. And it does. It should matter to us. Even if "knowing nobody else will know," the fact is you know and who could be more important? You are the only one you are absolutely sure you will have to live with the rest of your life. Someone will always know and that someone is you. Surely, no one else could be as important when it comes to matters of integrity.

Then I got to thinking how amazing it would be and how much people can get done if they do not have to worry on who gets credit. Now that is a tough one, especially for milennials. We have all spent so many years seeing others get credit for what we have done. We have fought like tigers to be recognized and have our contributions recognized, awarded and appreciated. Now how we can we possibly move on? Proving ourselves isn't what we want either. We will never have acceptance unless we first give it to ourselves. Once we truly accept ourselves and our contributions, maybe outside recognition may not be so important. And it is really nice, though. To ride the tide of self-acceptance is to rise above the need for recognition. Getting credit may not be as important as getting what we want done. And perhaps we can start by looking at ways we do not feel accepting of ourselves that what everyone thinks and recognizes seems to be more important.

On the other side of the spectrum: we can get away with a lot when it comes to others. But hopefully, I pray, that most people are not so out of touch with themselves that they can fool themselves enough that they can get away with anything with themselves. We might get away with it with others, and still we know. We know, and if we don't do what is right, it eats away at our souls. It doesn't even have to be in terms of the big things. Sometimes it is in the littlest things that matter: that long distance call on the office phone, that unkept promise to our family, that little bit of unnecessary gossip. That failure to report income, watching silently and allowing people do bad things to other people... We know. We have to realize that we are much too precious to tamper with our integrity. Being alive is such a special kind of bravery.

As for me, I have decided to be as real and as authentic as possible...and act the way I think is right... whether or not people will notice or see. To relate this to my dressing: I have decided not to over-think that so much... I just wear what I want to wear and what I feel is right for me to wear, no matter if people will see it or not...even if no one notices or is there to witness it.
Hair Extensions: STYLD. Hair Extensions

Metallic Pleated Chiffon Top with Train Skirt: Glitterati | Black Tank Top: Forever21 | Black Leather Skirt: Glitterati | Gold Jeweled Bib Necklace: +RUCKUS | Thigh High Gladiator Strappy Sandas: Haus von Lila | 2.55 Caviar Chain Bag: Chanel

Gold with Swarovski Crystals Cuff Watch: Born Pretty Store

I absolutely loved this watch when I saw it and I was so happy to have received it from Born Pretty Store ( an online shop that sells lovely and unique designs of watches and accessories for such a great price!  I had the chance to order some watches and accessories from Born Pretty Store and they arrived to me in the specified amount of time. The accessories especially this watch all look amazing, they don't seem cheap at all. They're awesome and I've got a lot of compliments for wearing them. I absolutely looking forward to buying more items from this store and if you want to shop, just like me, you can have the chance to do so, and with 10% off (at that). Just enter this coupon code: JBSC10 and shop away! 

Lastly, due to recent developments, allow me to remind you of what integrity means: 

1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
2. the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished
I can say outright and with no hesitation that I adhere to my moral and ethical principles, and that of my family's and my own spiritual life. I've been honest enough to check myself so as not to lose morality over the stress and contradictions of everyday life. I remained true to myself and I believe that THAT for me is INTEGRITY. Integrity is a personal quality of fairness that we all aspire to — unless you're a dishonest, immoral scoundrel, of course.Having integrity means doing the right thing in a reliable way. It's a personality trait that we admire, since it means a person has a moral compass that doesn't waver. It literally means having "wholeness" of character, just as an integer is a "whole number" with no fractions. Physical objects can display integrity, too — if you're going over a rickety old bridge that sways in the wind, you might question its structural integrity. So, I will not apologize for my decisions. I will own up to it. ALSO I AM NOT THE HYPOCRITE IN THIS CASE. I am not the one claiming to being "estranged" to someone who I deliberately pushed away and refused to accept. I didn't make a decision to end things then later cry and claim to be a "victim"...More so, I admit to being the villain more often than not because when I do things, I know I am sure of myself enough to be accountable for them...Most of all: I abhor hypocrisy.

xx, JL

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