May 20, 2013

Sick Cycle Carousel

I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my way
I tried to tame this mind
You better believe that I tried to beat this

So when will this end
It goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around
I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this
Sick cycle carousel,
This is a sick cycle, yeah
Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle
-Sick Cycle Carousel, Lifehouse

Blazer: Zara | Pants: Zara | Shirt: Tyler | Vest: Mango | Sunglasses: Prada | Bag: Celine 
 My style has taken quite a radical shift and believe it or not, this is what I usually wear on a normal day. The transition is quite apparent. From 'wear whatever I want to wear, have my iPod play on shuffle and decide the theme of my look for the day' carefree days, I now find myself planning outfits in advance and laying it out the night before---like a normal functional adult. Music still, of course plays a vital role in my dressing up, and its influence is still apparent in my posts... I guess I just find the need to press Shuffle less, these days.

Aside from being in perpetual business attire outfits required for work, which yes, I do engage in... contrary to popular belief, I find myself reading... a lot. I am quite happy to have rediscovered my passion for literature, which due to the other forms of media, had to take a back seat, as I  was always tinkering with every new gadget I could find (Circa 1996 Tamagotchi buried in my drawer included, yes, it was THAT bad). But my most recent vacation enabled me to rediscover my love for reading, which I did for the entire duration of my stay at the beach. One of the authors consistently on my night stand: Paulo Coelho. His brilliance transcends his contemporaries, and I just cannot seem to get enough.

On detours, road blocks, one way streets and dead ends: The bumpy ride called life. Most people get on it in search for excitement, but once that starts, they are terrified and want it to stop. What did they expect? Having chosen an adventure, shouldn't people be prepared to go the whole way?  Or do they think that the intelligent thing to do would be to avoid the ups and downs and spend all their time on a carousel... going round and round on the spot? The  roller coaster of life: it is a fast, dizzying game; it's a parachute jump; it's taking chances: falling over and getting up again; it's mountaineering, it's wanting to get to the very top by yourself and feeling angry and dissatisfied when you don't manage to do it. No one said it would be easy.

If I suddenly wake up on a roller coaster, I would probably feel trapped and sick, being the neurotic person that I am, I'd be terrified of every bend, wanting for every second to get off. But if you see things from another perspective, and believe the track is your destiny and that you are in charge of the machine, then the nightmare would probably become something thrilling. It becomes exactly what it is:  roller coaster... a safe, reliable toy which will eventually stop. But while the journey lasts, open your eyes and stop... look at the surrounding landscape, embrace every twist, turn and loop... who knows? You might enjoy it... you might just bask in the excitement...You might just be in for the ride of your life...

'As we drive along this road called life, occasionally, we will find ourselves a little lost. And when that happens, I guess all we have left to do is forget the shoulda, woulda, coulda... Buckle up...

And just keep going.'
As for me, I’ve done the merry-go-round, I’ve been through the revolving doors, I finally feel like I’ve met someone I can stand still with for a minute... and... well, I guess I'm just lucky enough to have someone who alsowants to stand still with me.
xx, JL

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