Apr 3, 2013

This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race

I am an arms dealer fitting you with weapons in the form of words....
 And (don't really care which side wins)
As long as the room keeps singing that's just the business I'm in..

.... I wrote the gospel on giving up
(and looking pretty sinking)
But the real bombshells have already sunk (primadonnas of the gutter).. 

At night we're painting your trash gold, 
while you sleep... 
Crashing not like hips or cars but more like parties

Top: Zara | Pants: Zara | Bag: Abby Jocson | Bib Necklace: Ruckus

I figured I  have so many military "Call to Arms" inspired outfits, I seem to be running out of titles for my blog but luckily, my knowledge of FOB as influenced by my brother circa 2009 gave me an appropriate one, granted I am wearing camouflage on camouflage. I have to admit, I was never a camouflage kind of girl. I always did military inspired looks by wearing army green and tough chic army inspired garb, but for this outfit, I just had to go all out. It is probably due to the influence of my FOSSIL and style sister, Dominique, rubbing off on me. She's pretty big on the whole camouflage thing...case in point, she recently posted her take on the look (with a very similar top) in this post called Survivor.  *Cue in Destiny's Child catchy beats here* I have to admit my style is largely influenced by the people around me... I don't know why but probably spending a substantial amount of time with people (for instance, I am at Domz' homebase as I type this entry), makes me susceptible to more or less, dress like them. I find that a good thing- since if ever I would want to be influenced by someone's style, I would be more than happy to get that dose from Domz.. or my other equally stylish friend, Kato. 


Moving on, I would like to breach on the topic of survival. Theories in biology and in science have always out an emphasis on surviving--- for example, one of the major theorems we have been engrained to believe in--- is accountable to the school of Darwinism, which basically emphasizes, "Survival of the fittest." It is a basic characteristic of almost every living thing--- the struggle to remain living---and rightfully so, given the many challenges and struggles we encounter every single moment that try to prevent us from doing so. These struggles may come in small waves...but most of the time, they are of epic proportions. And such epic struggles, are what ultimately become unforgettable to us... probably because it reminds us of what we've got within us to push through, to cross the hurdle and ultimately, to remain still standing- victorious, undefeated and imperishable. 

I have always lived through that adage, "Lose  the battle, win the war." Cliche as it sounds, it is pretty easy to say and proclaim... living by such principle would be a much greater feat. We all want a quick fix, we all want things resolved in an instant, which makes practicing this way of thinking much harder than you think. I have to say, that with what has happened to me in the past months, it was always just easier to surrender and take the easy way out... to come out publicly with the truth of what is really happening and to clear my name, which has been defamed in epic proportions. True, you may concede to your circumstances, you may say you are not defeated by it...but putting it out publicly, makes your dealing with the struggle, again another instant fix. It's easy to do, your acquittal, your innocence and then other people's conviction (like mine and Domz') are put on trial publicly to strangers who shouldn't even have a say on the whole issue. I wanted to retaliate at these very faux allegations. It was unfair. It was a battle I had to lose, in front of a readership composed of 47.2% of the country's population. 

But then again, I always kept on reverting to the saying. I didn't want to get my hands dirty by creating a spectacle out of a situation. This wasn't a spectator sport--it was life---and in such cases, I don't think putting it in circulation would ultimately solve things. It's so easy to use publicity to portray yourself in a certain way, it's the ultimate quick fix. All you have to do is light a match and provide fuel in the form of intrigue. It's quite an easy formula if you figure it out, but since I chose to always believe in the good in people, I didn't expect such a sordid, one sided tale with no facts whatsoever. It was like having a gun aimed at you, locked and loaded. 

These people wanted to play with fire, and set other people's reputation burning on the stake. But you do know what they say about people who play with fire right? In the end, they get burned. I learned my lesson.. I was burned more than I can count in a span of a year, I wasn't going to fight fire with fire.

It is much harder to exert effort, resources and patience to ensure that truth, no matter how it was written, will prevail. I have always taken the appropriate, legitimate and rational measures to get what I want: the truth, for once and for all to come out. Probably because my parents have engrained in me that nothing that is ever worth it comes easy. Justice, comes with a price, but when it is served, ultimately, you will know that it was worth the struggle. Then you've survived. And so, ultimately, my point is this... allow yourself to lose the battle today...whatever it is you are going through. Allow yourself to lose more than one battle, if that's what it takes... to ultimately, tomorrow, win the war.

xx, JL


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