Apr 1, 2014

Work it, make it, do it...Makes us harder, better, faster, stronger!

One of my most favorite quotes which reminds me to get through any day is by Barbara Sher and it goes like this, “People have to face regrets. Becoming mature means learning to accept what you cannot change, facing unresolved sorrows and learning to love life as it really happens, not as you would have it happen. When someone attaches unkindness to criticism, she’s angry. Angry people need to criticize as an outlet for their anger. That’s why you must reject unkind criticism. Unkind criticism is never part of a meaningful critique of you. Its purpose is not to teach or to help, its purpose is to punish. Life isn’t supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss. Life isn’t supposed to be a battle at all. And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it’s comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant. When your day’s not perfect, it’s not a failure or a terrible loss. It’s just another day.”

It is probably just as debilitating to believe that the successes will go on forever as it is to believe that the bad stretches will never end. They are both really similar,you know. Each is a phase. Each is a process. The difference is how you treat them. With the successes, we try to hold on to them. We clutch them close and say, "Please, please stay." We become overconfident. With the bad stretches, we fight them with every ounce of our being, try to ignore them, and beg them to go away. We lose our confidence when we cannot make them go away. Personally, I realized how much time and energy I have spent and waste trying to make my life look like I think it should. No wonder I found myself always exhausted. I think Nancy Kerrigan said it best, "Everyone has bad stretches and real successes. Either way, you have to be careful not to lose your confidence or get too confident." 

At a very deep level, our life has its own process. It is made up of cycles, and the sooner we attune to these cycles, the sooner we will have energy for anything. The events in our lives happen in a sequence at a time, but in their significance to ourselves, the find their own order... that is the continuous thread of revelation. I mean, wouldn't it be boring if our lives were completely linear? How dull it would be to have completely worked through each experiences and trauma right when it happened? 

It is easy to say that yet the truth is: we become resentful when old skeletons that we believed were long since buried begin to rattle their bones. How inconvenient when the effect of events that happened at age five begin to erupt at age twenty or thirty five! It is disquieting when memories long hidden from consciousness signal us that they are ready to be worked through. The thing is, trusting that there is something within us that knows more than we do know. Trusting it can result in healing. I know that is hard to do. Can we believe that our inner process knows when we are ready to deal with old issues? Can we even trust the very fact that they are coming up is an indication of how much we have grown and how ultimately how strong we are?

It is quite funny when I think about it, really: how one little change or inconvenience in any aspect of our life affects so many other facets of our being. We have to accept that there are often events in our lives that just do not make sense. In spite of our best efforts, projects fail. It is important to take stock of the situation and accept our part in the failure and then move on. When we get stuck on the why, we can stay stuck for a long time. We so want to understand, and it is so difficult to admit that some things just make no sense... they just happen. 

Inevitably, "whying is dying." There is nothing really more to say - except why. But since why is so difficult to handle, one must take refuge in how. Sometimes, we have to accept the harsh reality that our circumstance may not be the problem. Our need to understand it may be the problem. Ultimately, if we tie our confidence to the cycles of our lives, our confidence will be on a roller coaster. Faith in living does not ask why. Faith in living asks how and does it.

And when our days aren't always exactly extraordinary as we expect it to be, perhaps we have to stop asking why and just let it be and accept that it is just another day... The good thing is we have tomorrow...to face life...harder, better, faster, STRONGER. 

I must admit I have to give myself snaps for the not at all subtle maneuver of relating my post instantly to my outfit. I know people are hating on him (in light of the fact #theworldsmosttalkedaboutcouple aka Kimye have managed to wrap Anna Wintour around their fingers and did the impossible: land the cover of Vogue). But what can I say? They are awesome and perhaps underestimated by most, which adds on to their allure and brilliance in developing themselves into a brand. I am always one give a toast to the douchebags (another reference to a Yeezy song). I am a big fan, despite all the drama and hate... I know creative genius when I see it and I won't deny it. Whereas everyone else (self-righteous people) out there have this puritanical sense and pretend that their fame is a consequence of talent, style and beauty, these two don't pretend at all. Actually they have both mastered the thing we have all been complicit in creating- they have mastered popular culture. Besides, no matter how the world pegs him or his significant other to be, you can't deny it... "you can't turn your head and look away." That I have to admit, I respect.
And true to form, I think he said it best himself: “It’s mixing creativity with the fight like an athlete. Like it’s okay for the athletes to fight and push it, but they want the creative people to shut-up and be quiet. But these are the people with the real ideas that can actually change, can reorganize, can design cities, can restructure a curriculum, you know, can make life easier. And that’s the part of the game I want to be in: the making life more awesome.” (Kanye West, October 28,2013 on a live radio interview)

Yeezy Football Athletic Oversized Shirt: Vanilla Breeze Clothing | Ruffle Skirt with Quilted Detail: Zara | White Pumps with Black Ankle Strap: Das | Black and White Bag with Gold Studded Detail: Shiq Bags | Horn Necklace: Cultus Chi Chi | Studded Bracelet: Mango | Studded Leather Cuff: Glimmer by Glitterati | Black Diamond Earrings: My Collection

Brown Hair Extensions by: Styld. Hair Extensions
tContact Lens from: I Love Sparkle Contact Lens

xx, JL

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