Feeling Strangely Fine

“Girls, you've gotta know when it's time to turn the page.” 

-Tori Amos

  

Dress: Apartment 8 | Hat: Zara | Shoes: Zara | Bag: Topshop | Belt: Forever21 | Necklace: Vivid Clothing and Apartment 8 | Bracelets: Forever21 and Apartment 8 | Sunglasses: Prada

Warning: Image Heavy Post 

I was quite the camera whore that day and could not resist taking photos for a good 20 minutes... Probably it was also to keep me distracted as I got ready too early (talk about being not so subtle on anxiety) as this was the day I went for my consultation with my doctor regarding my condition. true to form, I tend to prepare quickly when I'm nervous for something and I finished prepping up an hour early which is record breaking because I am perpetually late...for anything. But definitely not for this appointment. And so to keep a panic driven me bus, I decided to spend a good time taking outfit shots and I like all so I had to post. Hey, my blog, my rules. 

 

I wanted to be in a fun, fuss free dress and this dress was the perfect choice. I loved the design and the fact that it was a maxi dress with a twist since the lining was cut short and therefore being transparent was a bonus. I love the designs of Apartment8 and am very proud to be a brand ambassador- simply because I believe in the brand and I love the clothes and accessories they have in store. Take for example, this dress, it could've been just another black maxi dress but the chiffon layering, the the semi-sheer effect and the extra details add a punch of excitement which separates the dress from being just another black dress. 

 Feeling very bohemian, I paired it with a woven floppy hat (it was sunny that day--and I was channeling my inner Jackie O.), a black and gold fringed necklace from Vivid Manila (a new brand I have come to love) and camel brown accessories- gladiator flats from Zara with a 2-inch wedge, my topshop Satchel and a woven belt I got over the summer from Forever21. I had such a blast moving around and posing in these pieces, as the many photos prove to show.




This was also the day the surgery news bomb dropped on me. My entire family was there- my dad, mom, sister, brother, Domz, nurse, yaya- for the appointment (It looked like I brought the entire neighborhood, which was amusing since we surprisingly all fit in my doctor's clinic). Anyway, the news came in pretty fast and in a split second I found myself packing my suitcases and being admitted to St. Luke's Global. It's true what they say when you receive news like that... it's like your world just stops, you automatically go into autopilot and do the necessary things and tasks to accomplish. It's part of compartmentalizing, I reckon.

Anyway, this was my last outfit post before undergoing major surgery and an 11-day hospital stay at the world class St. Luke's Global Hospital where I got a room which looked nicer than a hotel suite (I joked that if it wasn't for the hospital bed, it definitely was a hotel suite), was in the O.R. for my surgical procedure for 7 hours and stayed 7 days post-op for recovery. I love St. Luke's- not only do they have the best equipment and the most advanced technological tools developed in the field of medicine- but also because they have the nicest service and staff of nurses and residents who take care of you so well. I'm having separation anxiety from my nurses from the 16th floor since they have become my sounding board and have grown to be my friends for the 10-day stay. Here's a shout out to them--- Belle Prieto (my fave nurse who has makeup days),DJ, Marlon, Venna, Jaja and Ruthie-- I miss you guys!!! Thank you for taking good care of me.

Here are my nurses...

So here, I am, back at home on recovery (still) but very positive. I have no time for negativity in my life. As Panic at the Disco sang:

Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
And I'll admire your expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here

Only The Marvelous. 

On Letting Go

In the end, it's probably not the holding on that will summarize our lives. It is the letting go that will be of greater siginificance. 

Letting go is no easy process, especially for those of us who do too much. After all, haven't we made our reputation with our tenacity, our stubbornness, and our ability to persevere against tremendous odds? One of the fall outs of doing too much is that we lose our perspective on what is important and what isn't. We lose the ability to discern what is a little battle and not worth our effort and what is an important battle where we need to stand our ground. 

We often see something that isn't working as a call to arms. We can work a little harder. Push a little harder. Do a bit more. Try harder, try harder, TRY HARDER... because in our minds, we are pre-programmed to believe that "isn't letting go the same as giving up?" So we dissipate and squander our energies on little things that don't really matter that much and have nothing left when we need to face up what is really important. The loss of the ability to discern the small from the large issues is a sad consequence of our times. 

Life in its normal state is a series of cycles, a series of beginnings and endings, a series of changes. It is a sad, unfortunate reality that some are willing to make themselves sick, corrupt and cruel by holding on  to something that has already passed. It's very strange that often, when we are willing to let go, truly willing, then everything shifts and letting go may no longer be the issue. Our holding on may change who we are, and when we look at the mirror, we may not like what we see. 

GET THE LOOK:

xx, JL