Burning Bridges

"Send this out to sea.  Send it where you want it. You can take it note for note and not at all. There’s no filling up your spaces with fictionary places...Imaginary faces they don’t work at all...I keep on running...I’m building bridges that I know you never wanted"

-Burning Bridges, One Republic

Burning Bridges. v. (idiomatic expression)-   One of the worst and also best experience... To burn a bridge is to break away from a person close to you, who you have consistently been on good terms and have had happy memories together. A simpler way: burning up your connections with someone important to you that has become toxic and no longer good for you. I've been wanting to discuss this and this entry was the perfect opportunity to do so...well, because, I am in a bridge. I know a lot of my entries have been revolving around conservative work wear recently because that is what I do and what I love doing. However, let's all take a break from that and have some fun. This is as far as it goes for edgy and rebellious for me. I look back at the days when I could get away with studded and grommet outfits and laugh because I am no longer at the age where I can pull all that off. However, I can do a cropped top, some printed trousers and a blazer with some streak of rocker chic via the hint of silver spikes at the shoulder area. It may be a mature piece- this black blazer- but at least it combines contemporary and classic all in one. I like pieces that are like that.

Black Blazer with Spiked Shoulder Detail: Zara (also worn HERE)

Black Cropped Top: Topshop

Black and Gray Printed Trousers: Topshop

Shoes: Alexander Wang (also worn HERE)

Patent Bag: Salvatore Ferragamo

Suede Felt Wide Brimmed Hat: Zara (Also worn HERE)

 

Photos by: Celyn Jaravata

It's nice to find out I still have my good old edgy-ness even after all this time. I used to get away with it a lot and to prove my point, here are some of my favorite rocker and edgy looks: Example 1, Example 2, Example 3, Example 4, Example 5 - now was I not the poster girl for all things metal, ripped and studded? Now that I have grown up... a lot... I can still be that but a tamer version at least. Since the blazer is already a statement piece all by itself, I decided to compliment that with a black cropped top and then tone it down with a delicate pair of printed trousers. I accessorized with my favorite accessory for fall: my black floppy hat and completed the look with a patent clutch and my Alexander Wang gray and black heels. Now, obviously, this look is something I wore to an event I was to attend. This is not something I can pull off on a daily basis especially not at the office unless I want to get a memo for inappropriate attire. Once in a while, I will shock you with ensembles like this. But at some point, I think even I have to burn the bridge for every day leather black looks.

Speaking of burning bridges, allow me to enlighten you. A bad habit of mine (or is it a talent? I don't know...) is burning bridges and the best (or worst) part of all is that I am pretty much an expert at it. What was I referred to before? I think cut throat and heartless were some of the lovely words used but I guess that's pretty true but only when I need to cut someone off my life. I don't mean to sound harsh but it took a lot of practice, I guess. Cutting and cutting cleanly is the most brutal statement you can make. Screaming and getting angry is tolerable, I must say but silence is a whole new different level. Hating and saying harsh words translate to the fact that the person still means enough to me to write a few words or feel some feelings. As a lot of people would say, hate and love are two sides of the same mirror; and the true opposite of love is apathy. 

Losing people in my life is something I have learned to deal with. It's happened to me before and I am sure it has happened to most people. (I am hardly the exception) I have made some choices of people with whom I can no longer speak to because even acknowledging their mere existence or confronting them with mine would pour salt in so many wounds and would be just too ugly. I tend to take a black-or-white picture when it comes to relationships and I draw lines that once crossed, you can't cross back... because I have already burned the bridge for that. It's self preservation... because allowing people who have hurt me extensively is unsafe and destructive so I just let things erode to non-existence. In my personal experience, I do not see the logic of keeping contact with an ex (friend, boyfriend, employee, etc.) post relationship. So when you are at that point that you decide to end something with someone as they've hurt you, influenced you to become worse or are toxic for your well-being, burn that bridge. Burn bridges and allow yourself that special brand and much-needed time to go and do YOU for a change. You cannot move along life looking in the rear-view mirror on something that has come to pass. Burn the bridge and strand yourself away. Trust yourself completely and unconditionally so you know that you will be more than just okay alone... you will be marvelous at it. When this happens, it's not your tme to be noble or brave or selfless... enough of those pretty words. You are tearing yourself away from someone... that doesn't need those features. Your life needs to continue and the peripheral existence of someone else just simply won't factor in. You will be happy eventually. Once you burn that bridge of toxic drama it will become more about what is good and what you enjoy and what fulfills you. We cannot understand why things have to come to an end when they are happening but cutting some loose ends usually can be of use and service. Blame it on the fact that you being with that person was simply a chapter of your life that had closed and it would be right to cut the cord and go your own separate way as putting an end to it is simply what is appropriate. After all, our lives are filled with so many things we could have done better. There's no point to force a false friendship because of some misguided sense of reminiscence and sentimentality. You are okay, you have people who love you unconditionally (family) and there are so many exciting things waiting for you. Let that be enough.

Burn that bridge.

xx, JL