Today Was A Fairytale

I wanted to find something of the beauty of myth that we’ve left behind, carry its shreds before us all, so we could acknowledge it, somehow bring it back to life. I wanted to delve back into that world that cradled us when we were young enough to still touch it, when trolls lived under creek bridges, faeries fluttered under mushroom caps, and the Tooth Fairy only came once you were truly sleeping. I wanted to see if enchantment was somehow still there, simply waiting to be reached. When I felt my loss, I realized that if I could do anything in this life, I wanted to travel the world, searching for those who were still awake in that old dream time, and listen to their stories – because I had to know that there were grownups out there who still believed that life could be magical.
And in that moment I decided: I am going to find the faeries... and write my own fairytales.

Before the noche buena festivities commence, I would like to wish everyone: A Merry Christmas. Granted Christmas Eve is such a big deal in our country, I am sure everyone is excited to have a fun-filled night until morning with loved ones. I think the ability to reconnect is one of the best things about the Yuletide season and I do hope you spend this opportunity well. You see, once you get older, the holidays become more of a chore rather than a cause for celebration. I get it... we all have responsibilities now and we were already told Santa doesn't exist and that it really was our parents who are stuffing our Christmas socks after all. That's the thing about growing up--- we find out the reality of things that we used to marvel at and believe so intensely. This is the reason why I find people who manage to see the magic in everyday life and continues to be enchanted absolutely fascinating. It's a hard knock life but having hope is something to revel at. Not everyone is like that anymore... maybe except for a selected few. As jaded as I think I tend to be, one thing I still do believe in magical things and that's how I choose to be. Enchantment lies in everyday moments if you are observant and if you are willing to write down your own tales. It's quite simple really... for my case. for example, all I have to do is to find the beauty in the mundane things... and even simpler yet, all I have to do is wear an dreamy ensemble that spells "QUEEN" all over it... this gown is an example of that. After all, an enchanted day is only enchanted if we ourselves believe that anything is possible.

Blank Space

I crave space. It charges my batteries. It helps me breathe. Being around people can be so exhausting, because most of them love to take and barely know how to give. Except for a rare few.

Sometimes, you just need to be alone and I have absolutely no problem with that. I actually love that... and I think that it's okay to be that way. Contrary to popular belief, it does not mean that something is wrong with you or in your life. You see, sometimes, you simply need to create the space to soul search, think, rest and just BE. I don't think you need to apologize for needing or taking this space. At the end of the day, it is part of what makes you a happy healthy person. The thing I realized is that you can't always keep on dealing with people every second... There are times that you have got to stand alone...if for anything- just to find out how damn strong you are...even if it is longer than expected. For an introvert like me, that comes easy... I thrive on this scenario. However, not everyone is like me and if you fall into the other category and are an extrovert, this is something that would be very hard to do. I have seen it all too often and I have to admit that I have been guilty as well of creating distractions just so I don't have to face my problem...and simply sweep it under the rug. I mean ultimately, isn't that the easiest route to go through? Denial? After facing problems heads on, gun blazing... it came to a point that I just got really tired and burnt out. At some point, I wasn't even quite sure anymore what I was fighting for anymore and that was when I decided that what I needed was some time in a beautiful place to clear my head. I also believe that sometimes, the best way to appreciate something is to be without it for awhile. Clarity, peace, serenity are very important things to find...don't you think?

Break-Up Birkin

I had no idea it would be this much. 

I had no idea I could handle it.

I had no idea how beautiful it all actually is.

A lot of people have been commenting on how my aura is radiating of positivity recently and though I hadn't really done anything drastic, I don't know why this has been the main compliment I have been getting from people...Not that I am complaining. I don't actually know how to describe it except for the fact that I have decided to be unapologetically myself and when I decided to be that, there was no further decision to make... everything fell into place. You see, a lot of us tend to take this for granted but incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't. So where do I begin? To start off, I can't force people to love me or to even like me as I have no control over how people perceive things. However, I do have control on the fact that I can make space for those who matter and who appreciate me for who I am and for the mere fact that there are people who support me in the highs and the lows of my life mean so much to me. I considered myself blessed... and on that Sunday... I was truly enchanted to meet some of you. I never really expected that people would approach me and ask for my signature or a photo with me and be so happy with the mere fact they finally got to meet me. It wasn't exactly on my mind when I signed up on publicly sharing my thoughts and photos online but it fascinates me that there are people who read my ramblings and my stories and can relate and learn from it. It gives me so much satisfaction to know that. And it surprises me how much people actually know about me and can notice such minor things like how I changed my hair color or how I have a boo-boo on my left arm and how I feel and if I am handling the demise of a relationship well. The thing is, I always thought that whenever I type random things in this blog, I was just sending it out to the universe...it never actually really occurred to me that so many people read what I say and what I wear or what I am going through and actually remember it. It is such a big deal to me, seriously... you have no idea.

The Happiness In Her Eyes

My only goal in life right now is to be happy. Genuinely, intensely and consistently happy, regardless of what that looks like to others...

 

It's Christmas time! I love everything about this season...probably because everyone seems to be jolly and happy and generous...and also because people are at that point where they are settling old scores and trying to close cycles in preparation for the New Year. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year! Aside from the festivities, one of my most favorite things about the Christmas season is the gifts. I love the gifts. Now, not to sound materialistic or something, because the gifts I mean are those that you can't purchase in a store or those that have monetary value. I've been raised in a loving family where the most fascinating and most important gifts are those that you don't have to buy and I think that personally, I prefer it that way. I am not one of those people who appreciate something expensive or costly to be given to me to make me happy... I think I am a more simple and practical person where effort is more appreciated over the cost. After all, if you are the kind of person who can have anything you want, what you want are the things that money can't buy and this actually requires more energy than having to go to a mall and buying something and paying for it at a counter. Now what gifts am I referring to? It can be anything from a simple smile, an apology from someone you had animosity towards (and a reconciliation), having good and unforgettable memories with people that will last a lifetime or perhaps being given another chance to make things right. I find those gifts more fascinating... don't you think?

Anchor Yourself To Something Special

Everything changed the day she figured out that there was exactly enough time for the important things in her life.

I have been on this one woman mission of reinvention ever since the middle of the year, when I woke up and realized that somehow... my life didn't make sense to me the way I needed it to. I had matching tattoos done on the left side of my ribcage with my sister Katie with the word 'evolve' and it is the single one tattoo I don't think I will ever regret because I consider myself forever changing and evolving into more of me. It is very easy to get brainwashed by the standard set for me by the society but somehow I managed to break free... (Cue in this year's very meaningful Halloween costume) There are exactly 17 days left in this year's calendar. I am thankful. I found myself this year... not realizing how lost I was. Currently, I find myself so free that even if someone put me in cuffs, I'd still feel my freedom. I find comfort in being comforting. I think at one point, I got lost in the trend of keeping up with the trends until one day, I decided that I was the trend and that I should only be keeping up with was myself. The past years, I think I have been laying my foundation on something weak and shaky... like relationships and other people but I think I have somehow transitioned. Another meaningful tattoo that I got was behind my left ear and it is an anchor which is of significance for two reasons: (1) since my initials "JL" put together resemble an anchor so much, it might as well be my own sigil and (2) because despite how many reasons are thrown at me, I refuse to sink. Life's toughest storms the strength of our anchors... and I think mine has proven to be tough enough as it has been put to the test so many times.

What Boyfriend?

No boyfriend? No problems.

I was walking around some bazaars and saw a number of statement shirts with that caption and laughed. While I am happy for all my friends who are blissfully in relationships, personally, I don't think that would work out for me... For now. As I have said multiple times, I am currently happily single and I don't think I want to change that as of the moment. It's refreshing actually to not even be dating right now because there is just no pressure, no drama, no tiffs... And I love it that way. At some point, I think I got tired of all the effort it required and all the issues involved- the main one would be my independence and refusal to inform my significant other of everything I do. I find that prerequisite taxing, actually. Probably because I am not techie or that I forget that I have to and that I seriously forget that I even have a phone in the first place...but that's always how I've been and it's so hard to change that. Trust me when I say I've tried and failed many times.  

Made To Love

You haven't seen strength until you witness a woman who continues on after being hurt, smiles after being hurt and still remains hopeful even though at times it hurts. You almost can't tell that she's in pain because the way she wears her smile from day to day is symbolic of the strength that only lives within a Queen. You have not seen real strength until you've seen her.

I don't know what it is but I somehow find it odd that I love being decked out in gowns and long dresses... almost like I was born in the wrong era. To be quite frank, I love wearing fancy formal dresses more than I love wearing normal "everyday" clothes which somehow gives me validation that I was indeed probably born in the wrong time period. Now, as I have high respect for situational dressing, as much as I love gowns... it would be quite inappropriate to wear them while running errands, going to work and on a daily basis. That would just be off. However, there are formal occasions that beg for long dresses, pomp and circumstance... one of said occasions include a wedding... which hopefully by now, you are well oriented enough to know how much I love attending them.

Nude Awakening

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
Delicious Ambiguity.”

I used to be such a control freak that every step was carefully planned, every outfit was thought of in advance and I refused to be caught off guard. The thing with being that way is that the sad but unavoidable reality that in life, you are never in control and to assume you are, simply opens you up for major disappointment. I came, I controlled (or tried) and I failed and got a harsh lesson and now I am just going with the flow and taking life as it is. I still crave for control (that's just me and I can't control it---okay for lack of a better term to use...) but now I know when to sit back and relax and let things unfold  before me without having to intervene. I simply trust the vibes I get... because at the end of the day, energy doesn't lie. As for being on top of everything, the rude awakening that one never can be and the sooner you accept that, the better as you strip yourself off the pretense (as comforting as the illusion of having control is) and then you're left to deal with yourself in rawest and purest form possible... that kind of explains my title on nude awakenings...because believe it or not... being stripped off all the false pretenses that somehow reassure you or lull you into a false sense of security is what one needs.

Lucky Strike

Today I wondered why my eyelashes aren't thick enough and why my feet aren't small enough. Then it hit me. Why do we take these insignificant things like millimeters on lashes and shoe boxes and then try to fit ourselves into those stupid molds? Why do I take the beauty that is me, and measure it up to a shoe size? A length of hair on my eyes? Am I not the more wonderful creation, far more great than those stupid things? Why do we take ourselves and desecrate ourselves daily? Pushing ourselves into cubicles because we think we are supposed to fit into them? Are we ice cubes? And suddenly I just don't understand the inadequacies anymore! Because they're not even inadequacies, at all! I will laugh and be beautiful.

Swing Out Sister

It's been a week long absence from posting because 1.)  schedule has been off the hook and 2.) there was no internet at home, my mom managed to survive through my ordeal by getting my postpaid tattoo and I consumed too much data and as per the Fair Usage Policy, I was using up too much bandwidth that my internet had to be slower to give a chance to others. For the Internet thing- I have to say that Dominique's cute but menacing cat, Kenzo was to blame as he chewed off the wire which took forever to fix and restore. Now as much as I love blogging, you see, I love living beings more so I spared Kenzo the rage blackout (not that he would understand why I was mad) and decided to just be. I was way too busy with work anyway and in my down time, I was actually able to do other things that I probably would unot have been able to had there been Internet as I would probably be too busy glued to the computer screen and browsing through sites and meandering. I thought I would not have survived all those days but it was actually refreshing as I got to read books, goof up with people (well, that I do with or without Internet so it doesn't really count actually) and of course actually bond and get to talk to people without having to multitask. I have a really difficult time compartmentalizing which is a debilitating side effect of my OCD so now that I had all the time not using the Internet, I got to concentrate on other things. A lot of freak accidents have happened the past days that I had to check if Mercury was in retrograde but apparently, it wasn't and there are just times that bad things happen all at the same time. The difference between letting it get to you or not depends solely on how you react to the things happening to you and rather than sulk, scowl and complain endlessly, I decided to go the road less traveled and used the time to be productive and it was good. I used the time to get to think up ideas and things (the one where I decided to have a cotton candy and popcorn in my booth in BU8 being one of them...but let's save that for another blog post!). It was all about your reaction to things that dictate how it will affect you and I am happy with how I was able to turn a dire situation into something positive. My, my. Is it just me or have I seriously changed so much? I like how I am responding to things in such a zen-like manner so let all the good juju flow. I need that a lot this December!

How You Get The Girl

 “Diamonds are held under tons and tons of pressure, extremely high temperatures of fire and shuffled under shifting of tectonic plates, for a long, long time! Yet when they come out from there and are put on display for their beauty; does anybody stop to evaluate the diamond based upon all the shit it's been through and say "Remember that disgusting hole it used to be in? I bet it was hell in there!" No, people don't remember where a diamond has come from; they just see the beauty of it now. But it wouldn't have become so beautiful, you know, if not for all of that! So why should we look at other people, or at ourselves and evaluate them/ourselves based upon their/our pasts? Shouldn't we forget that? And only see the beauty that is in front of our eyes? Whatever it was, it made you beautiful! And that is what matters!”

- C Joybell C

I mentioned a few posts back that I had quite a busy week since despite feeling sick, I had certain commitments that I have already confirmed my attendance for and one of them was on a Friday night where I was chosen to judge the Mr. and Ms. College of Home Economics at U.P. Diliman. Along with my fellow judges who are, I have to say, talented and respectable in the industry were Alma Concepcion, Arnold Galang, Albert Andrade and the Dean of the College of Home Economics Dr. Aurorita T. Roldan. I was quite honored to be part of a panel of such big name and revered personalities and I was more than happy to represent the social media and blogging world and made sure to try my best to objective as possible. Personally, I used to be invited to judge pageants in universities but rarely accepted. However, since I wanted to show my support for the college, I went for it and I was glad I did. The pageant wasn't all about who looked better or who had the most incredible gown but a large percentage of the rating system was on their ability to communicate and answer questions impromptu (which we asked them) and also in their talent and portion area. It was such an amazing experience and I got a bit nostalgic about my college days. In this day and age we live in and in the industry I belong to, there is so much emphasis put on how you look that it is almost the one main facet our lives must revolve around. I find it silly. On the get go, this is also why I hate meeting people randomly like in a bar setting or in a club because everything is so objectified. First impressions revolve around your exterior appearance and while I may seem fashionable and cute, I think my personality is more of what makes me... me. To relate that to my outfit, I try to incorporate how I feel as much as possible to my outfit and well, this dainty ensemble seemed perfect for that day.

The Girls Get Talking: An Intimate Afternoon with naFlora

“It's not very easy to grow up into a woman. We are always taught, almost bombarded, with ideals of what we should be at every age in our lives: "This is what you should wear at age twenty", "That is what you must act like at age twenty-five", "This is what you should be doing when you are seventeen." But amidst all the many voices that bark all these orders and set all of these ideals for girls today, there lacks the voice of assurance. There is no comfort and assurance. I want to be able to say, that there are four things admirable for a woman to be, at any age! Whether you are four or forty-four or nineteen! It's always wonderful to be elegant, it's always fashionable to have grace, it's always glamorous to be brave, and it's always important to own a delectable perfume! Yes, wearing a beautiful fragrance is in style at any age!” 

The past week, I had the privilege to be invited to a great and very educational event at Posh Nails in BGC which was hosted by naFlora. From the get go, I wasn't quite aware of what was going to happen but after the program... can I just say that I learned so much vital information that  I, as a woman, didn't know but how to. We had a lovely speaker who was a specialist in OB-Gyn and granted that THAT was her area of expertise, she was definitely the best person to consult and learn insight from. Her presentation and talk was entertaining and was not the usual "lecture" type as she was able to explain the importance of knowing that at certain ages, we need different kinds of feminine wash concentrations to maintain a healthy pH balance in every girl's private part. Well aside from that, she also explained some tips on how to take care of your body and on how certain lifestyles (ie., drinking, stress, smoking, medications) can have an effect on your reproductive system. She also debunked certain tips that we, being a very superstitious race, tend to believe in because that was what their grandmother's grandmother who said so. I am shocked how little people knew and how they have certain beliefs which are not only unhealthy but potentially dangerous. At my age (I am 27 years old), I am knowledgeable in human anatomy specifically the reproductive organ of a woman... however, I also realized that there was so much more I needed to learn which is why I am thankful that I was able to get some expert advice from a specialist. 

My Best Beautiful Self

As you all know, I am a very busy girl. Aside from blogging (which I do part-time,) I actually do have a job which requires me to be on the go on Weekdays and a slew of other activities combined with that. A lot of my work revolves around philanthropy and my own personal advocacy which is education. Doing this makes me really happy and fulfilled. However, after some time of juggling all my many different projects, I realized the importance of taking time off for oneself to de-stress and to relax. From the get go, I understood the importance of helping myself first before I can help out and be of service to other people. Mandy Hale once said that "It is not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself and to make your happiness a priority. It's necessary." This saying brings me back to my main point because I don't think it is possible or feasible for a person who can not help themselves to help other people. As they say, charity begins from oneself at some point, I think that we all need to realize that we need inner strength and peace before being able to give that to others. This is the reason why I make sure I take some time to refresh and of course, to take good care of myself, first and foremost.

Neon Autumn

We are entering the Dark Ages, my friend, but this time there were will be lots of neon, and screen savers, and street lighting.

Edward St. Aubyn, Lost For Words

I wore this stabilo themed ensemble  to a lovely dinner to celebrate my grandfather's birthday over at One Way, which is, I have to say- one of the best restaurants I have been to for so long. I was quite happy to have given the chance to attend this family affair because I am usually not invited due to the fact I might get exposed to some allergens from the food and that is a very problematic situation to be in. However, due to my insistent appeal to my mom, she finally gave in and invited me...and even if I did not necessarily get to stay in the private dining area and had to sit outside since there were a lot of things I wasn't allowed to be around... I was still happy to have been there. I guess my life is all about that lately... I prefer spending my time with my family and maintaining a close bond with them. Even if I wasn't entirely part of the entire night, I think it was nice to still grace my lolo with my presence to celebrate his birthday with love and endearment for him. After all, life's too short. 

Songs of Innocence

C. Joybell C. once said: “I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway... let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.” 

Last week, fresh from the hospital, I was granted a wonderful chance to visit Keys School Manila where I was invited by the lovely faculty and staff especially Teacher Joyce to be a resource speaker to talk about Journalism and Blogging, a new topic that they are introducing into their curriculum as a special project. After my talk, the kids are going to come up with their own web blog wherein they can talk about their interests, hobbies, feelings, emotions etc. I was thrilled when I received the invite. Usually, I don't agree to give talks as much because I go to work on weekdays however since I was given the week off (from my recent confinement) and because I just simply cannot say "No" when it involves kids, I instantly responded that I was more than willing to go and give a short talk. You see, I love children. I really do. I find it refreshing to be with the young ones because there is something so magical in seeing the world through a child's eyes: with so much innocence, enthusiasm and spirit. If anything, I would love to be around that kind of energy more often because it is so pure and untainted by the world's ways. It was a beautiful day when I went to the school and the experience was absolutely unforgettable and one for the books. I am so glad to have been there since this was a day I definitely would not have missed out on the world.

'Cause Darling I'm a Nightmare Dressed Like A Daydream

Okay, so I don't quite know how accurate this title is but granted that I am self-deprecating, I wanted to post this as it was one of my favorite lyrics to that new very self-deprecating Taylor Swift song, Blank Space, which is what almost everyone is talking about... along with THAT photo that broke the internet that just had this weird effect on me because I felt like there was too much oil involved. Okay, not to veer off from topic, I always liked Taylor Swift as an artist and love her songs (even her unreleased ones) but before, as a person... not so much. I always felt there was something she was hiding with her squeaky clean image and since I am one of those people who love to admit my faults before anyone else could point them out, I felt like she was hiding something. With her new look, sound and image with her 1989 album though, I've begun to see a more human side to her and I liked it that she went over and beyond that and exaggerated how she is portrayed and showed off her flaws in such a self-deprecating way that made me really really like her. I think as humans, we are all flawed. But it is up to how we accept them, react to them and use them (sometimes to our advantage) that matters. So right now that she is showing a more fun and "hey, I'm also human" side... I like her as a person too. I have to admit  I haven't quite given myself enough time to recover after the fuss of last week since the minute I was released from the hospital, I found my schedule full of appearances and commitments that I have signed off to even before I got sick. Granted that these commitments involve an advocacy that is very important to me, I couldn't live with myself if I were to just cancel last minute so after I checked out from being admitted... I found myself planning my wardrobe for the days to come which involved me in very demure, dainty and classic pieces since these engagements I booked all involved education, which as you know is a very important cause to me and something that I will fight for no matter what. I decided to postpone the time needed to recuperate so I may attend to these functions because I am professional and I will go above what is expected especially if it involves this particular cause. I'm human, I am flawed but here I am trying my best to represent... and in this ensemble, it would be hard to go wrong with the entire representation thing as it was in every way elegant. This is my usual outfit for daily life as I want to represent myself in a very put-together and classic way especially as I represent one of the most rapidly growing scholarship and educational foundations as I am its Executive Director. As I am an advocate of situational dressing, I try to be respectful of the environment I am in and the cause I am representing and that involves dressing up in a manner that is graceful, dignified and refined. 

I Know Places

I apologize for the lack of updates since as you know... I've been taking my sweet time recuperating and I am glad to be back at full swing. A common misconception about bloggers is that we are always made up and dressed to the nines. I know for a fact that I take more time for what I wear than the average person but there are some days when you just want to wear a simple outfit and have it as it is. This was one of those days. This is probably as laid back as it will get for me... Plan white tee, boyfriend jeans and a blazer. Oh, and my new favorite flat shoes: my leopard Jessica Simpson ballet flats. Yes, I know, I am in flats and I find myself being in flats a lot since years of donning platforms, 6 inch (or more) heels or even heel-less "how can she even walk in those shoes" pairs, my back is having to pay for it. Upon the advisement of my doctors and my very strict parents: the lower the heels, the better. Now, I have to admit that I do not exactly follow that but rather considered it as a suggestion, tried it for a few days and went back to my high heel wearing ways. What can I say? Life's too short to wear boring shoes... (well granted these shoes are quite a statement but you get what I'm saying...)

'Cause I remember every sunset...

“Never waste any amount of time doing anything important when there is a sunset outside that you should be sitting under!” 

- C. Joybell C.

I know that it is often something taken for granted especially by urban dwellers like me but the sun setting and the sun rising are two of the most wonderful sights to behold. I used to always love the sun rise since it signified a new day and I am all about new beginnings but now, I am also able to appreciate the sun as it sets and see it as a time to give thanks for the wonderful day that has gone by. As I get to experience full days and early nights, I find that my days are marked by when the sun comes up and when it comes down...each day culminating with a promise and ending with relief and satisfaction for being able to have survived the day. I know what other people would say: "that the sun rises and sets every single day and its absolutely free..." but just because it is something you know will happen for sure doesn't make it any less beautiful, important or worth watching. I rarely get to see the sun set in the open air because I usually leave the office far too late and a long time has probably elapsed by the time I get out and this is probably the reason why on days like these, when I can afford the opportunity to actually see it as it unfolds, I don't take it for granted. I watch in awe and wonder and it is very therapeutic. I've needed a lot of therapeutic things lately and there is nothing better to provide that than what is natural occurring in the world as we know it. It's nice to remember to be present in the now and also to me reminded that there are some things that don't require a hefty price tag that can take your breath away.

Sweet Fantasy

I was fortunate enough to have been able to watch the Mariah Carey concert a week or so back and I was immensely happy that I didn't skip it as I was highly entertained and it was, of course, such a privilege to have been able to watch her belt out to her songs live. She truly was an extraordinary and talented performer and her voice range is simply out of this world. I spent the night watching it with my mom, dad and my FOSSIL Dominique and we were all so busy dancing and singing to the songs and of course taking over a thousand photos and videos so we can relive the moment over and over again. Since we were able to score seats in the best location of the arena, I decided I wanted to style it up a bit and veer away from my usual concert wear of graphic top, skinny jeans and heeled boots and instead wear a classic and clean crisp button down shirt with a black tulle maxi skirt. I was channeling Carolina Herrera, subconsciously, I think and that was not at all a bad thing since I think she is grace, elegance and class personified when it comes to personal style. I always have been a fan of how she is able to make the classic white shirt EVERYTHING and how she can simply style it up for different occasions- with my favorite look being for when she styles it with a skirt and beautiful accessories like in this photo here. I do hope I was able to give justice to my style inspiration with this ensemble.

First Things First

First things first, after the three post hiatus of costumes and rocker chic outfits, here I am back in my corporate attire also known as my uniform and I am incorporating my two favorite colors: powder blue and powder pink. The colors I have been wearing have mostly been muted (nothing to glaring or bright) as I feel I am at that point in my life where I am calm, serene and prefer not much noise and theatrics. I wore this on a Hmmph-day Wednesday where I also had a great (yet very long) lunch over at Wild Flour which was always fulfilling. Everyone always inquires what my favorite cuisine is and my automatic answer is: Comfort Food as I have decided that deserves it own food subgroup. Actually, I rarely do lunch out on weekdays and prefer to eat packed lunch in the office which is why it surprised me when I saw how much people were there (the restaurant was packed and there was a waiting line) to eat lunch out. I know it may not exactly be a big deal to anyone at all but since I am in this new stage in my life by working in our foundation, I choose to see the world with fresh eyes and a child like curiosity- things as mundane as these actually fascinate me. Call it crazy but I think it's important to see the beauty in even the most simple matters and also to still be amazed over little things.

Folk Story

Before I forget, let me show you another Halloween costume I wore for my self-proclaimed favorite holiday which was actually the first of the two costumes I had worn (the second being the Ariana Grande one). For day time/ trick-or-treating, I decided ti wear this folk-themed costume. Of course, when someone wears something tribal, everyone automatically assumes that the look I was going for was that of Native Indian. I beg to differ. Aside from the fact I am very sensitive to the traditions and culture the native American Indians and therefore would refuse to wear a feathered tribal head dress as it is offensive to don the war bonnet as it sends a culturally inappropriate detail on Native costume. (Cue in Victoria's Secret Karlie Kloss-gate from 2012.) I know Halloween is all about fun but since I know better and did not want to offend, I decided to don a Nordic Warrior-inspired gear and decided to choose pink to make it more fun and less sensitive to anything historical. Besides, I think my FOSSIL Dominique already rocked the American Indian look in her Pocahontas costume from two Halloweens ago... Check out her look HERE and HERE. That explains the fur over the feathers and this interesting animal print wedged shoes from 37LA which matched my outfit and the feet cuffs so perfectly. I then full on committed and painted my face with makeup to make the look all the more on point. If you notice, I also posed quite fiercely which was quite a feat as I was on a ledge in heels... the things I do for Halloween...

An Ode to the Old Me

This is going to be a quick post but first let us bow our heads, close our eyes and reminisce to the time when I was 23 and could wear this outfit, rock it out and totally get away with it- fringed boots, sequined shirt, torn graphic sleeveless shirt included. I felt like I was stuck in a neutral, classic and clean whirl so I took things to another level and decked out in this. As you know, I only operate on extreme poles so when I committed to this outfit, boy, did I commit. Big time. So for no other reason than the fact that I missed going out in micro-mini and open side tank tops, here is this look. I won't lie. I didn't exactly feel as much as myself in this outfit more and I actually was quite more self conscious. I am 27...turning 28 in a few months and I think it is pretty acceptable that such a stand out and risque outfit would still make me feel weird. I never thought I would go through that, but here I am- doing exactly that which- is proof that truth and time truly changes things. As with our manners and behavior, so too with how we perceive the world. Deep down, I will always be that rocker chick but right now, partying (which is where I would have worn an outfit like this) isn't in any way a part of my life anymore. I love going out when the sun is still shining. The causes I so vehemently fight for have been everything to me and I doubt this is an acceptable outfit for that unless I want to channel the entire Rebel Without A Cause vibe which would be inappropriate as I am the Executive Director for a Scholarships foundation. There are so many things you realize when you hurdle into your late '20s and the things that I specifically love doing usually require button down tops, double or single breasted coats or blazers or a perfectly tailored business suit. A few days ago, I cleaned out my closet and with that, I let go of this ensemble and a lot more like this and decided that it was time for my retail branded clothes (some I have never worn) to find a new home where they would not be taken for granted or buried at the back of the closet. When I looked of all that remained after the 4-hour and counting long purge, I saw what remained and I was satisfied. Step 2 to my Breaking Free strategy.

This is the part where I break free

If you haven't figured it out yet, I love Halloween and it is my favorite day of the year. For my main Halloween costumes, I always make sure that it is one of a kind and I always want to out-do myself from the previous years. Now I already did fur, feathers, leather, sequins and flowers... I had to think of an option and accent I haven't used yet and then I got my answer... rhinestones and gems. I made sure that it had to be perfect. True to form, the character I chose to portray was Ariana Grande from her Music Video in Break Free. Now when it comes to me and being in character, I commit and I commit fully... and most of the time I actually take it to another level which was why I had my tattoo artist Elezar Orobia from Wiz Ink Tattoo Studio come over and paint my face- making sure each detail of the one she had in the video matched perfectly (and who else better to trust than the person who does all my permanent tattoos right?) Now, the costume was a bit too plain and under the advisement of my sister...I decided to bedazzle and my wonderful personal assistant Celyn Jaravata DIY-ed my look to perfection...the entire suit was full of gems and I was sparkling the whole night! To take it up a notch, I used several coats of textile paint and pylox to create the white boots Ariana Grande is quite known for. Trust me, it was such a feat to look for white boots in this country where (1) boots are rarely worn so supplies are low and (2) it was simply impractical to buy a pair in white since it can get ruined easily. So, I decided to take things in my own hands and create it and it turned out great. The boots I bought to use as a base was actually black suede (yes, it was a miracle I was able to turn it to white) and I got it for a great prize... it was 90% off so from P4850, I only paid P499.75. Isn't that a steal? Oh how I absolutely love Halloween! It challenges my creativity and I am glad to have people with me to help me out with the execution.

Just Like A Dream

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” 

- H. Jackson Brown

I believe that no matter how irrelevant, we must not only chase our dreams... but make them reality. Call it optimism or idealism, but I would like to think that dreams do country... if you work hard for them. The day I wore this outfit was exactly that...like a dream. I never thought I would enjoy the day being in a place that was cold (yes, bring me anywhere cold and I am not a happy girl). But then I came to realize that sometimes, it isn't so much about where you are or what is around you but so much about being with the people you care and love most. This day was like that. For lack of a better way to explain it, allow me to go in detail. I am in a much better place now. I know it sounds silly, but I think I am at a place where everything turned out to be right for me, all my problems have not exactly been solved but I have come to accept them as they are and I am finally finally happy... I find that the progress I’ve made in my life and the adult that I’m becoming has made me more aligned as an individual- I finally know what matters to me and what doesn't simply because I got my life on track and opened myself up to so many new possibilities. I didn't really know how to go about this all before as I seemed to always distract myself with unnecessary things. I was basically going through life as if in a daze because I didn't know any other way to go about it. However, once it was clear to me what I wanted to do and the person I wanted to be, it set the path for me to move forward and make my dreams real. There is no better feeling than finally knowing what you want and going through the process of trying to get it.

Burning Bridges

"Send this out to sea.  Send it where you want it. You can take it note for note and not at all. There’s no filling up your spaces with fictionary places...Imaginary faces they don’t work at all...I keep on running...I’m building bridges that I know you never wanted"

-Burning Bridges, One Republic

Burning Bridges. v. (idiomatic expression)-   One of the worst and also best experience... To burn a bridge is to break away from a person close to you, who you have consistently been on good terms and have had happy memories together. A simpler way: burning up your connections with someone important to you that has become toxic and no longer good for you. I've been wanting to discuss this and this entry was the perfect opportunity to do so...well, because, I am in a bridge. I know a lot of my entries have been revolving around conservative work wear recently because that is what I do and what I love doing. However, let's all take a break from that and have some fun. This is as far as it goes for edgy and rebellious for me. I look back at the days when I could get away with studded and grommet outfits and laugh because I am no longer at the age where I can pull all that off. However, I can do a cropped top, some printed trousers and a blazer with some streak of rocker chic via the hint of silver spikes at the shoulder area. It may be a mature piece- this black blazer- but at least it combines contemporary and classic all in one. I like pieces that are like that.

My Altuzzara don't want none unless you've got Fierce Down

Okay, so I played around with the words of Nicki Minaj's song, Anaconda, but really, can anyone blame me? The lyrics are quite explicit so I don't think I can respect myself to put them as my blog title (although it does give you a severe case of last song syndrome after you hear it) and I knew I just needed to use the song as inspiration for this outfit... since it's snakeskin and all. I know it's a tricky print to wear but to be frank, this was actually my first choice when I saw the Altuzzara x Target look book and immediately phone my sister because I wanted to have it. I love animal prints but I wanted to give all that a spin and wear a snake skin print... for a change. My goal was to make it tasteful and classy and well, if you know me, I am always up for a challenge.

Locked In My Own Daze

I live in a generation where everyone always is all about what the new thing is. While I think that may indeed be a good thing, since having something new always means there is development and progress, I cannot help but think that sometimes, reverting back to the old, the tried and the tested matters too. I've heard it all happen over and over again, people complain about doing the same old thing. I don't quite know when it happened exactly when the "same old thing" became synonymous with "boring" and I know that such a generalization is absolutely false. I find comfort in the classics which is probably why I find rummaging through my mom's old clothes so much fun. Case in point: this dress.

Habits (I've been around and I've seen it all)

Autumn is here and that means that 'tis the time of the year again I can experiment with rich fabrics such as jacquard, velvet and for this day- my personal choice- brocade. I always found richly decorative shuttle-woven fabrics laced with metallic gold absolutely elegant and glamorous and if anything, it spells one thing: royalty. Okay, so I will never be royal... even if some of my readers and followers call me Queen but I sure as hell can dress as one and that was exactly what I did when I chose this ensemble for a very important lunch where I was to present achievements of our foundation and orient my two sisters who are based abroad all about it. When I wore this outfit, I felt quite pleased with myself... Although when my sisters and staff saw me, they had one name in mind: Blair Waldorf. The irony of it all.

Coral Story

This is one of my favorite dresses which I've had with me since Circa 2006 and it never fails me. I love it immensely as it is extremely flattering with the pleats and the halter-style neckline. More so, it is appropriate for day or night wear depending on how you accessorize and style it. I think aside from having an LBD, an LWD and a LRD... everyone should also have a few colorful dresses in their arsenal as it is a good investment and just like this dress you can wear it over and over again.

Fashion Patriots

Months ago, I was contacted by a Slovakian editor to participate and represent the Philippines for their mag's editorial entitled, Fashion Patriots. More or less, the concept of the shoot was to have bloggers from different countries shoot themselves in an outfit that best represents their country and to explain it. Naturally, I was thrilled. I love my country and I am proud to be Filipino. Granted, as a race, we do have some flaws in society and in our government, I find that what nation doesn't? So despite that, I never actually thought of wanting to change my citizenship even if I have had many opportunities to do so. I am not a hero... I am perhaps very far from becoming one but if I were asked to be proud of my country in a platform that I am engaged in (aka. fashion blogging)... I will put effort on it because I wouldn't want to do my country the disservice of presenting something half-baked or worse, something that would wound our nation more. I thought and brainstormed on this particular shoot...a lot and when it came out on the website this week, I was proud to have delivered. There's also some strange comfort in realizing that while I cannot be in Slovakia, it's nice to have my photo reach the country (which I confessed, I had to Google) and also to orient them that the Philippines exists (they probably will have to Google our country's location as well) and that where I am from, there a lot of fashionably people...Fashion Patriots... in their own right.

All Laced Up

If there is one fabric that I love, it would be embroidered lace. It is absolutely so intricate and delicate and of course definitely absolutely beautiful. I used to juxtapose lace with leather to make it have a somewhat tougher and edgy appeal or dress it down with a plain top to make it look more casual. However, on this day, I felt like I wanted to take a chance and commit, thus wearing an all lace on lace with tweed ensemble. As you know, I love neutrals and have been quite committed to it so here is yet another neutral look- this time in cream from top to toe. I love that I am growing up a bit more when it comes to my fashion choices. I find that I am growing to love elegant and sophisticated pieces and build an outfit from there. I think that as with most things, my fashion sense and style is also evolving and that's not a bad thing.

PINK is POWER

Hello everyone! I am back to my favorite color: PINK for this outfit post, which I must say, was absolutely appropriate from The Clozette Ambassador's Afternoon Tea Party held at Commune over at H.V. Dela Costa Street which was exactly across the building I work in and spend most of my weekday afternoons in. It was a Saturday which meant no work so I decided to trade in my business attire for something more appropriate. The dress code called for Weekend Chic and I made sure to be situationally dressed and therefor sported this pale pink outfit. I committed to the color from head to toe, I must say.

Peace Like A River

I love being away from the city sometimes. Yes, even I, who was born and raised in this thriving metropolis also needs a break from the hustle and bustle of city life which can get quite stressful enough that one tends to burn out and if anything... that is such a bad feeling. So here I am, city girl gone rural and I love it. This is my day out in the suburbs look and it is still quite corporate but it was a business trip that I had to attend to and even if I was working, it wasn't as fast paced and busy as it is back in the Makati Head Office and so there was more than sufficient time to unwind, take photos and relax- bask in the fresh air and take in the river before me which unlike the river in Manila (which you smell first before you see...) is a sight to behold. I had a theme that particular weekend and it revolved around red, white and blue. It was quite patriotic but I have always loved the combination because it has quite a nautical feel to it... a theme that if you must know I am so obsessed about.

A Rose By Any Name

I am all about situational dressing. I personally think that it is absolutely vital to know what to where depending on the occasion and the occasion I wore this outfit to called for flats, as a must and while I do prefer heels, I didn't want to be inappropriate so since the situation called for it, I wore flat shoes instead. The event I wore this ensemble to was the Cocorose Launch here in Manila where my FOSSIL Dominique was a muse and as you all know, I am very supportive and so, I made sure to support her all the way in this outfit and in flat shoes which I wore for the whole day...(I know, shocker, right?)  At the end of the day though, I was happy I chose to go and dress up this route as everyone was in flats and it was a strictly flats only event. I would've been totally out of place in my sky-highs so as much as I love my stilettos, it was only appropriate to leave them in my shoes closet, for that day at least.

Call It Magic

Last Sunday, I got the great experience of attending one of my dearest College friend's wedding. It was beautiful. I always loved weddings. Yes, I am that friend who will gush to you about how beautiful you are, willingly come forward once all the single ladies are called out to catch the bouquet and actually stay, which qualifies me as the best wedding guest ever but the allure of it will never fade for me- no matter how many weddings I attend. Add to that the fact that I was born in the wrong time period and think wearing gowns and high heels should be my default outfit and my unwavering belief that it is really beautiful to see two people who love each other and want to publicly declare it have every right. As cynical as I may portray myself to be, I still do believe in happily-ever-afters and there is nothing like a lovely wedding to bring that out. So, on that day, I decided to be appropriate and finally wear this nude gown I've had in my closet for a long time... (to those of you who don't already know, I am that girl who has two closet full of gowns for no other reason than because I love gowns and always love having a dozen I haven't already worn yet... just in case.) Thankfully, I wasn't wrong and on this absolutely marvelous night, I decided understated and elegant was the way to go. The good thing is I also actually blended impeccably with the surroundings at the reception, which was in so many ways absolutely beautiful, by the way... the way I think all receptions are because they are filled with so much love and happiness all in one location.

Autumn Afternoon

“I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
                                                                                 ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

For most people, I am sure, October seems like such an awkward month. It signals in a lot of changes and transformations happen.  I have come to realize now that transformation sometimes begins with a fall. So never curse the fall. Personally, I am learning to embrace all the seasons and the changes that accompany it. I find that there is something nostalgic and significant about the season. Out with the old, in with the new... transformation is such a wonderful and often unappreciated thing. As with seasons changing, so does my outfit configurations and I find myself removing all the cool and casual ensembles from my rack and start to layer. There is nothing more that signifies the start of a new season for a fashion blogger than a change in outfits pending. There is an adjustment but in time, we learn and get accustomed to it. I sure did which is why it is absolutely so easy for me to discard my summer clothes and immerse myself in layers and knits and cold weather wear. Adapting to the changes is key. So here I am getting all knitty gritty in my favorite and fail safe fall staples: a cozy knit wrap that is so soft that one can snuggle in it. I find a strange sense of comfort in wearing clothes that keep me warm and are at the same time fuzzy. The weather definitely does not dictate for something that is too binding and uncomfortable.