Back to Good

 

 It's nothing, it's so normal you
Just stand there I could say so much
But I don't go there cuz I don't want to
I was thinking if you were lonely
Maybe we could leave here and no one would know
At least not to the point that we would think so
Everyone here, knows everyone here is thinking about
Somebody else
It's best if we all keep it under our heads
I couldn't tell, if anyone here was feeling the way I do
But I'm lonely now, and I don't know how
To get it back to good 

This don't mean that, you own me
This ain't no good, in fact it's phony as hell
But things worked out just like you wanted too
If you see me out you don't know me
Try to turn your head, try to give me some room
To figure out just what I'm going to do
And everyone here, hates everyone here for doing just like
They do
It's best if we all keep this quiet instead
And I couldn't tell, why everyone here was doing me like
They do
But I'm sorry now, and I don't know how
To get it back to good

Vest: Zalora | Tank Top: Topshop | Shorts: Zara | Necklace: Ever New | Shoes: Zara | Bag: Balenciaga | Sunglasses: Fash 

 

When I wore this outfit, I was a wee bit under the weather so I had to visit my doctors for the much dreaded consultations over at the hospital. I needed to think on my feet on what to wear and so I decided monochrome with some pop of color was the safest way to go about deciding what to wear even when I wasn't in the mood to plan out my outfit or dress up.

As always in true incognito style, I wore a fabulous pair of round over sized sunnies from Fash Accessories which I absolutely love. I am trying to maximize sunglasses use since summer is weaning off and the rainy season is coming.

Here's what I know- in the midst of controversy, issues piling up or drama heading your way, you can still choose to be happy. All you have to do is will for it to happen. Happiness (and love) is just a choice away. Trust me, I should know. I have always been a glass half empty kind of girl...unfortunately for me, the rose colored glasses were plucked out off my face at a very young age. Some call it cynicism, I called it being a realist but in all the shapes and forms it took, I think the perfect way to describe it was being jaded.  (I apologize for the Aerosmith reference but this is the perfect word). But then I found out life wasn't meant to be a battle between happiness or sadness... life shouldn't be a battle at all. Because pain is inevitable. What gives us hope is the fact that even through the struggle: magic can be found in stolen moments. All you have to do is open your eyes and try to see it.

I think it would be appropriate  to surmise that I am quite happy now. I am, I really am. Does that change me? Well I do laugh more now. Does that mean I am compromising my values? Absolutely not. I will still stand up for what I believe in, I will still stand up against people who are unjust and I will continue to fight for what I believe is right. The thing with me is my moral compass does not exactly sway on different directions nor is it dictated by my mood. So to those wondering, it's the same old me, no filter and all. 

Ultimately, I think I can't be fully happy without being real anyway and I am not talented enough to convince myself or fool myself into think otherwise. 

xx, JL