Only the Marvelous: Wedding Bell Blues

His hello was the end of her endings
Her laugh was their first step down the aisle
His hand would be hers to hold forever
His forever was as simple as her smile

He said she was what was missing
She said instantly she knew
She was a question to be answered
And his answer was "I do"

- Sex and The City, Carrie Bradshaw

I am a sucker for weddings- I get emotional and always cry (proof: in my friend, Kato's wedding where I was a bridesmaid, the camera shifted so often to me and all my shots were of myself crying...) I guess the reason for that is there is something so special which I hold sacred to see two people stand before the loved ones, and of course in front of God (as I said the only marriage I consider valid are those made before the eyes God, you may have an different opinion but that was how I was brought up), declaring their love for each other and entering a sacrament that binds them to be together until the end.

It was a beautiful day to get married. I remember feeling so blessed to be able to witness two of my friends (that in the span of a year, I have grown to love)- Kim and Gio declare that love for each other. It was, in so many ways, such a decadent ceremony in a little chapel on top of a hill in Tagaytay, there stood two people who were entering a bond filled with so much love, hope and commitment, it was almost palpable for the people who were there to witness it. It was such a marvelous sight to behold and I found it absolutely impossible to keep a dry eye when the couple recited their vows. It wasn't my wedding but I felt myself so invested in the ceremony. To sum it up: there I was experiencing the cool air contrasted by the warm summer sun on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, feeling absolutely happy to be seeing the scene that was unfolding before me... there is only one word for how I felt...it's BLISS.

I have been talking to the bride whenever I saw her about the details of the wedding... because I am truly interested in it and because I always feel a sense of excitement in trying to grasp the process by which people come to that day when they finally bind themselves to each other, through the good times and more importantly, through the bad times. I know some people find the idea depressing (especially if they feel that they might not be able to find or experience planning that for themselves) but the thing is, I never factored myself into the equation. I have long since understood the concept that a wedding and all its details only had two people in it... the bride and the groom. Everyone else, is, in a sense, insignificant. It is their day. I know that some people would argue that in this day and age we live in, people get too wrapped up in a wedding that they end up getting excited for it and losing the concept of how to keep a marriage going. I don't believe that was the case for Kim and Gio, because theirs was a love that persevered against it all. Personally, while speaking to Kim about the details of planning the wedding, she jokingly told me, "I just really want to get over it (the wedding). I just want to be married to Gio." and that was when I realized that the two of them were absolutely ready to enter matrimony. Despite that, I have to say, it was one of the most beautiful weddings I got to attend. Despite Kim's declaration of wanting to get it over and done with, I think that on a day when you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you'd want that day to be special for you and for everyone else...and true to form, this couple stepped up and rose to the occasion. It was so well-planned and more importantly, well-executed that I have to give them snaps for pulling it off. At the end of the day, what else could you ask for? I think Paulo Coelho could describe it best when he said, "When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better that we are, everything around us becomes better to." For Kim and Gio: that was absolutely the case. These two had it all covered: the fact that they wanted not only a wedding but a marriage and the fact that that knowledge did not stop them from making sure everyone who witnessed it had a grand experience as well. It was almost too good to be true... but sometimes, life has a beautiful way of surprising you...there are truly good things that happen all around us... that day was the perfect definition of that.

A cliche when it comes to relationships I find alarming is that everywhere, everyone is saying that "passion does not last"... as if it was the one worst thing in the world. I mean, even when it comes to the shows and movies we watch, it is a common theme that all of them are portraying that love is a beautiful thing... but that it's hard to hold on to. If you are lucky enough to be holding onto it a decade later, don't let go or die trying to is actually the one thing I am getting bothered about. I mean, are we absolutely that disillusioned and jaded to think that loving another person has an expiration date? Everyone seems to be endangered. Most of the time people would say that when you fall in love, it might be forever (that is the exception rather than the rule apparently) but at some point you'll probably look at your beloved and feel frustrated, annoyed or bored. The most unassailable premise that intimidates me is that everyone seems to be saying: Relationships are hard. I am not immune to the fact that they do take a lot of work but I guess I have a problem with the stigma that "it's going to be difficult." I find that long-term monogamous relationships have been portrayed (and in a way that is not subtle at all) as a job that nobody pays you for. I don't think I will ever bring myself to accept this. While I do know working on being with someone is a constant thing, I refuse to accept that it would be such a burden that people would refer to it as if it were an occupation.

Personally, I think that is just sad. Everyone seems to have the story all figured out: You meet a person you need to stay with. You know you need to stay with this person because this person possesses things unknown which when you catch glimpses of are amazing and you find some sense of relief that you've found what you've been searching for. And for awhile it's perfect. The difficulties soon arrive. Commitment issues emerge. Issues with depression and happiness surface. Eventually, you start wishing things were easier because relationships should not be this difficult. While I am sure being with someone is a cycle of highs and lows, I don't think we should treat it as if it were something to regret and something you have to deal with extreme discomfort... as if it was so impossible and tasking to attempt to see the world through someone else's perception. I think that in every commitment we enter, we have to first realize that when you commit to a person by being in a relationship, you also commit to their problems. but I do not think it would be fair to think that relationships and the challenges that come with it are simply a part of the equation that leads to the ultimate end: suffering. Personally, seeing people think this way makes me sad because I do, sincerely believe in having love that can endure anything. Personally, I am quite thankful that in my current relationship, the issues (although external) came in from the get-go. There was no so-called "honeymoon phase" because immediately we were both thrown into the water filled with sharks. Fortunately, we just kept swimming. So you see, love does not have a formula, you can not objectify it and you can not say that there is one absolute and ultimate unavoidable outcome.

Love and all its contradictions are not supposed to be regarded as "solving a problem" that in effect turns into "changing a person." Love should not be regarded as an all or nothing thing, because it is not and each story has a unique set of circumstance. The alternative, I believe is to reject this narrative entirely and make decisions about staying in a relationship based on your own emotions, belief, experiences and perceptions. This is why I personally hold such a high regard to those who enter a marriage because deep down, I know, that despite what society and the times has programmed us to believe: they choose to see otherwise and decide to risk it anyway. I think it is more realistic to assume that problems and difficulties will occur in your relationship and in your life and working on developing suitable means of solving or alleviation those difficulties. Otherwise, every relationship problem you run into will be one more step toward bitterness, jadedness, disillusionment, "getting broken," and "giving up." People always ask me if I believe in "happily ever afters" and I never did get to say a concrete "yes" or "no" to this question... but I do know I believe in "happily," (I mean this in a way that you navigate through tribulations and triumphs with the same enthusiasm and optimism together) and that is exactly what I know is in store for people who get married.

Since I do regard wedding as the starting point of the life of being married, I find it to be one of the favorite occasions I get to attend. This is why I always find it in myself to be respectful to the bride and groom by asking the color motif or theme of the wedding and dressing up accordingly. For me, dressing up for an occasion is more than just a chance for self expression. More importantly, I also also regard it as a sign of respect and honor to the people who have invited me to attend. So when I asked Kim about what the color scheme or theme of her wedding to me, she answered that the color motif was "shades of blue." I decided to come up with a gown (the dress code indicated formal attire) in a very light shade of blue... periwinkle fused with powder blue perhaps?

It was actually the first time that I wore a gown that was in a pastel shade. I am always in black, white, metallic, bright or dark colors that I was new to the concept but I made this decision for color choice because I knew it was a daytime wedding (well since it was so much fun, it actually ended up lasting until night). I loved coming up with something that was the perfect shade of pastel for me that was fresh (nothing too cute) and the contrast of a wonderfully draped Grecian style dress which was something I chose to go with to off-set the color and make it more ethereal and mature.

Naturally, since when I do come up with an ensemble, I tend to go the whole nine yards, I accessorized appropriately. My hair bling and my jewelry were all centered of having a snowflake design (my weird way of paying tribute to Frozen as I have developed quite a severe case of Last Song Syndrome to Let It Go.) The makeup peg I decided to go for was fresh, clean and light- appropriate for day time look and of course, I just had to finish it off with a Grecian style up-do to complete the look. I was overjoyed with how the look came together. To everyone attending a wedding in the future, a simple reminder: dressing up appropriately as the dress code calls for and making it seem like you put an effort with how you look is very important, and I don't mean this in the aesthetic sense but rather in the interpersonal level as being dressed appropriately is a way to show the hosts who invited you that they are important to you, that you are honoring them and that you actually spent effort and time in putting something together that would be acceptable. It doesn't have to be extravagant or expensive, there are many ways that one can be creative in this matter. Making that statement that these two people who have invited you to witness such an important life event for them by showing effort, even in a thing just as simple as this, is also another gift you can give to the bride and groom.

Hair Extensions (used to achieve a thicker hair bun): STYLD. Hair Extensions