Silent Lucidity

I have always loved summer. People complain about the intense heat and humidity but the temperature never bothered me... I guess it's because I love the sun and try to bask in it and savor every moment. I am so at peace whenever I see sunshine... I guess it has that effect of making things really bright and shiny for me. The bottom line is, as I have said repeatedly, bring me anywhere cold and I am not a happy girl. I guess living in a tropical country where: in the city the temperature never really drops at lower than 23-degrees Celsius, is the perfect setting for me. That being said, I am perpetually in praise of the sun. This day, I decided to celebrate being in a  tropical country by wearing this gorgeous print shift dress for a day of running errands. It has a tiny peek-a-boo cut-out detail in the side which reveals just the right amount of skin without being too vampy. I decided to wear it for the day since the print was just irresistible not to wear without the presence of the sun. Despite the cut-out detail, I think it was the perfect day dress... with an added detail to spice things up a bit... it is summer after all.

Sun Hands

Madam L'engle once said, "It's a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us occasionally. It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand." Instantly I remembered that line from Coldplay's song Viva La Vida which goes, "And I discovered that my castles stand upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand." See, sometimes, it's good to think about the foundation which you have laid since most of the time, not having a concrete and stable foundation from which to build one's life, future and ambitions, can be a dangerous thing. It is indeed such a sad thing to realize that the base of the infrastructure called life is one that is shaky and would crumble easily... much like sand. If you happen to be reading this, I can only wish that you check on the portions and segments that you've layered your life on through the years... will it disintegrate easily? Will it fall to pieces, fall apart, go to rack and ruin over a period of time as part of a process of deterioration? Will it disintegrate at the first signs of strain and pressure? These are of course some things I find we take for granted...especially if we've been accustomed to getting our way most of the time. This is probably why I see roadblocks in life as mere checkpoints and learning curves so that I may learn to separate the grounds on which I have established my aspirations upon...is it strong like a rock or will it shatter like sand? Surely, when you reflect upon these matters, you are given the opportunity to strengthen your very core- to make it more durable and enduring. 

Neon heart, day-glow eyes...

I hate to say it because I do love being surrounded by my loved ones and friends but there comes a point in one's life when you just need a break. In a  beautiful place. Alone. to figure anything out. The funny this is as I type this, I am probably as far from whatever qualifies for "away from it all" as I am in the same old city turned ghost town (that's what happens every year on the 5-day weekend people have because it is Holy Week)... and not really in a beautiful place...the hospital (fine, my hospital suite is bigger than most studio units I have seen) but I don't think lying down in a hospital bed with an IV line attached to you is also not exactly the ideal place to be in...no matter how cozy, homey or hotel-like it was furnished out to be. A hospital room is a hospital room and there's no denying it, no matter how hard you try to. But I am alone, being hydrated and taking a break... and of course, certainly, with much time to figure things out because I must say that having nothing to do but lie down with only the choices to either incline or decline posture will have the side effect also know as introspection. Am I complaining? Perhaps at the start but when it comes down to it, I have to see the silver lining on this very dark cloud and think of this as a very expensive break, in the same city I have been born and raised in. So I am thankful for at least that. A particular saying comes to mind as I type this and it is titled This is what you don't do... and it goes like this:

Don't let the world make you bitter. Do not let the actions of other people turn you cold in the inside. Certain things happen that hurt us, people come that leave us, and most of all, there are moments you are bound to fall. Don't let those things make you unkind. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be sad. But it is never okay to do other people wrong just because you were done wrong. We're human. We break. We make mistakes. But do not let the pain and sadness ruin your life. Wake up in the morning and do what you think is right. There are moments in life where you feel like giving up and you can't take it anymore. It's okay. Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. You have to know you are allowed to be weak. But the things that show your weak side are also the same ones that make you stronger in the long run. It is all about taking whatever life throws at you and learning from it.

Famous Last Words

Photo by: Tricia Gosingtian ©

No, I am not dying. The title seems appropriate though given that it is Good Friday and I am celebrating it a bit different than most (and how different I am celebrating it this year than how I did the previous years.) This day is like tradition. I wake up on Good Friday, turn on the television and watch The Seven Last Words program, which is an annual thing back here. Basically, you reflect on the famous seven last words of Christ on the cross before he expired... and also, you get to hear people talk about their experiences and their personal reflections relating to one of the seven words or on a certain phrase. Then 3 o'clock strikes and it is time to pray on the holy hour that Christ died. It is a yearly tradition in my family, since we are devout Catholics and this year, I expected it to be no different... how absolutely wrong I was. Today, I woke up and heard the television playing the same program I have grown up to on a yearly basis but then I opened my eyes and everything seemed so different. This was not my room, this was not my bed (though it was my bed sheets) and then the almost numbing dull pain creeps in and I realize that I am in a hospital, the pain I am feeling is the reason I was confined in the first place and I feel that it is so difficult too move since I am hooked up to so many IV lines. It seems quite timely and appropriate since what better way to commemorate the passion and suffering of Christ with a suffering of your own? Strangely, I accept the situation and predicament I am in willingly and with no complaint. Aside from the terrible discomfort, I find pain and suffering an integral part of human life, perhaps because I know no other way to live but as with everything I experience, I have a tendency to embrace practically anything life has to give me.

Denim Jean Girl

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, renowned for her "The  Five Levels of Grief and Loss", also once said, "We cannot find peace if we are afraid of the windstorms of life," and what an absolutely wonderful thought! I remember that particular saying when I decided to let it go and allow my life to unfold as it happens...and when things don't exactly go my way I always just try to hold on- Ride the storm, life goes on. You see, I have experienced life in such a way that I know that our lives don't always go smoothly. In fact, many of us have had traumas and struggles. When we are in the midst of a difficult time, it is hard to see it as a gift. Nevertheless, at some mega-level, every experience is an opportunity for learning. When we spend our energy blaming and complaining, we are handing over our power to those whom we blame. Our time and energy is well-spent when we stop to say, "What is my part in this situation, and what have I to learn from it?" In doing this,we are not blaming ourselves. We are not blaming at all. We are opening ourselves to the glean whatever learning is there for us and it is in this process that we become whole.

We have to realized this as a fact: Power over others does us no good at all. Owning our own personal part is the most effective method of recapturing our personal power that is known to us as a human.

Summer, Kind of Wonderful

Last week, I was invited for a private lunch by the team of Preview Magazine and of Privato Hotel to give us a very casual (yet absolutely classy... well it's Preview, what else did you expect?) sit-down to get to know each other more and to somehow, get our feedback regarding the new redesign of the magazine and also, to introduce the new cover for April featuring Sam Pinto. It was a nice opportunity to have a sit down and chat about all things fashion (and other things not...) and of course be given such a sumptuous and absolutely flavorful 5-course meal amidst an absolutely sleek and well-designed hotel restaurant which had the bright April sun peeking through its glass windows, highlighting the brilliant design of the place. It was such a delicious sight to behold and I am so glad to be a part of it (with my FOSSIL Dominique Tiu) of course. I think it is always nice to meet new people and talk to those who help shape and reinvent the industry which I belong to. More so, I find it a privilege and an honor that they actually wanted to hear our thoughts as well and pick our minds about how we feel about what they were doing. I highly appreciate and respect people who actually take the time (because they are genuinely concerned) to get feedback from their consumers. I think it speaks volumes on how they are very eager to learn from other people. Ultimately, to be able to preach... one has to have to ability to live curious and also learn... right?

Wedding Bell Blues

His hello was the end of her endings
Her laugh was their first step down the aisle
His hand would be hers to hold forever
His forever was as simple as her smile

He said she was what was missing
She said instantly she knew
She was a question to be answered
And his answer was "I do"

- Sex and The City, Carrie Bradshaw

I am a sucker for weddings- I get emotional and always cry (proof: in my friend, Kato's wedding where I was a bridesmaid, the camera shifted so often to me and all my shots were of myself crying...) I guess the reason for that is there is something so special which I hold sacred to see two people stand before the loved ones, and of course in front of God (as I said the only marriage I consider valid are those made before the eyes God, you may have an different opinion but that was how I was brought up), declaring their love for each other and entering a sacrament that binds them to be together until the end. 

It was a beautiful day to get married. I remember feeling so blessed to be able to witness two of my friends (that in the span of a year, I have grown to love)- Kim and Gio declare that love for each other. It was, in so many ways, such a decadent ceremony in a little chapel on top of a hill in Tagaytay, there stood two people who were entering a bond filled with so much love, hope and commitment, it was almost palpable for the people who were there to witness it. It was such a marvelous sight to behold and I found it absolutely impossible to keep a dry eye when the couple recited their vows. It wasn't my wedding but I felt myself so invested in the ceremony. To sum it up: there I was experiencing the cool air contrasted by the warm summer sun on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, feeling absolutely happy to be seeing the scene that was unfolding before me... there is only one word for how I felt...it's BLISS. 

She's dancing fancy pirouettes

I saw you dance in the arena hall in
make-up, dressed up like a ballerina
Got to wonder what's got into you
Or just what you got into

-Pure Rock Fury, Clutch (2001)

I find it weird how every person in every culture and in every era had a well-defined role for women in their society. I am sure men suffer the same fate, as well as the LGBT community. I guess setting up roles and standards is something very human as it has withstood time. It is a bit disconcerting especially since these presets seem to be very precise, accurate and specific especially when it comes to what it takes to being a woman. When I was young, I was always reminded to be delicate, prim and proper. I would remember being dressed up in these inappropriate little girl dresses from a store called Queen Alice with ruffles, silk, organza and tulle... basically all things poufy which I often cried about when we were shopping for them or when my yaya forced me to wear them and I would always cry because they were too "scratchy." I was never allowed to take up rugged activities or hobbies like taekwondo (which I have to admit I was really interested in) or basketball or anything sporty (which wasn't really something that affected me since I hated anything that had to do with balls bouncing). I was, however, signed up for ballet classes and for a very long time practiced the art of dancing with grace and lightness. For years, I remember learning how to master the art of having a perfect and "always in place" hair bun, which required a whole lot of hairspray. I grew up listening to songs of composers with the hardest names to spell: Tchaikovsky, Shostakovich, Korsakov, Utsvolskaya and learning their names while girls who were raised to be sporty or athletic learned the names: Michael Jordan, Dennis Rodman or if you're in a more "progressive" type of household, Sean Michaels, Steve "Stonecold" Austin or The Undertaker. 

Work it, make it, do it...Makes us harder, better, faster, stronger!

One of my most favorite quotes which reminds me to get through any day is by Barbara Sher and it goes like this, “People have to face regrets. Becoming mature means learning to accept what you cannot change, facing unresolved sorrows and learning to love life as it really happens, not as you would have it happen. When someone attaches unkindness to criticism, she’s angry. Angry people need to criticize as an outlet for their anger. That’s why you must reject unkind criticism. Unkind criticism is never part of a meaningful critique of you. Its purpose is not to teach or to help, its purpose is to punish. Life isn’t supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss. Life isn’t supposed to be a battle at all. And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it’s comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant. When your day’s not perfect, it’s not a failure or a terrible loss. It’s just another day.”