Butterfly Carnival

 

Bustier Low Back Spaghetti Strapped Bustier Semi-Sheer Rose Print Dress: Style Staple | Chain Sling Red and Black Purse: Chanel | Suede Red Two-Strap Pumps: GoJane.com | Ruby Chandelier Earrings: My Collection | Sheer Mosaic Watch: Swarovski | Beaded Bracelets: Therapy 

 

Rouge Lipstick in Tamara Roar: Laura Mercier 

Hair Extensions Proudly Sponsored by: STYLD.Hair Extensions

Here's the thing: I have given up on the party and bar scene ages ago. I've more of a homebody now and I mostly drag myself off my four poster bed and comfy and absolutely Ann Gish bed sheet set and luxurious sheets from Neiman Marcus for a very important event or for a wonderful dinner, movie or shopping spree and that is if I am feeling it. It is not that I am depressed. It's more of me growing up.

BUT... every now and then, I make a comeback (once in a blue moon perhaps) and since there was a halo on the moon all of last week, I decided the cosmos were all for it so I let my fabulous hair down (Courtesy of STYLD.Hair Extensions) and make an exception. Once in a blue moon? BOOK IT. And boy, was I prepared to work it that night. I went all out in a backless bodycon bustier dress which in my 2011 dictionary was the very definition of a hubadera and pneumonia dress. But how could I resist the genius addition of the demure rose print to balance off and tone down the sexiness of the dress? I was all for it and given I won't be given the chance to wear a dress or outfit the likes of this again in about 3 long months when I wake up from hibernation, I put on my strappy heels (except for extreme situations or at places where such are appropriate and necessary ie. gym, swimming, the beach, on vacation and laziness flats for me are a disease), put on the rouge on my lips and went simply vamp with fabulously straight hair (I wanted to keep it sleek, clean and not too busy this time and thanks to STYLD.Hair Extensions I was able to do that!) and headed on out. It took a lot of guts to wear this ensemble especially the dress but courage was all I needed...tons and tons of it.

Oh and by the way I had a couple of reasons to celebrate that day BTW because (1) and most importantly, my boyfriend Andrew was celebrating his 29th birthday with his entire frat over at the 2nd floor of this new Gastropub called Tipsy Pig at Capital Commons. It was absolutely such a fun occasion as I had met quite a handful of doctors who had treated me in the ER or at the hospital when confined. I loved it. and (2) I had missed the CORE group and we were long due for a get-together and so we rented out another space (outside the restaurant where it was chilly and al fresco) and had another kind of fun...the kind that no matter how long you have not seen each other, just happens. I guess that's what CORE is all about and finally, (3) my new cardiologist has had positive feedback on this nw medication on trial right now which by itself solves some of my cardiac and blood pressure problems all on it own and while I am slowly tapering of doses from other cardiac medications, it is nice to for once get some positive news. Those were reasons to celebrate.

 

 

Considering it was a rough half of 2013, I feel that 2014 is looking up for me. There was a time that only the dead could smile that according to Anna Akhmatova was the very definition of despair. I was feeling that for quite some time and I think the lowers point of my struggle kicked of and lasted all through out the -ber months. I am sure you all know times like these. In fact, the point where I realized that doing what I did was no longer something that I did, it did me, and that was for me my personal moment of hitting rock bottom. 

The thing is, before we've completely admitted our powerlessness over whatever it is we are going through as being too much, we despaired, fearing that nothing could change. Yet in this situation, I realized, I have changed. I was able to do. I have reached the depths of despair and lived through it. I've gone into the abyss and realized how all these were nothingness too. the good thing about reaching a point of despair is that it opens up a possibility of a new life for me. Looking back now that things are better, I remember my despair and I am also grateful for it because hitting bottom has paved the way for new way's of being...and that's great.

xx, JL

Disclaimer: The dress was semi see through so I am sorry if you can see my cute butt in some of the photos. And yes, I have an ass and I a damn proud of showing it off. I may be lacking of certain assets, but being asstastic was marvelous and I showed off, WHY NOT? I am all for flaunting what I've got. Also, I think this needs to be addressed because I've been getting a lot of questions about it but yes my cheeks blew up and my face is a walking advertisement for water retention... yes and the reason for that is I was on steroids for the longest time to lessen the inflammation in my body. I still think I am lovely with cheeks and I won't hide it. But for those asking the reason is: PREDNISONE happened. I am still me, perhaps more cheeky literally.