Oh, Reckless Abandon

Floral Wreath Head Dress: Anagon Collection | Lace Sheer Shirt: Cotton On | Lace Embroidered Shorts: Forever21 | Shoes: Forever21 | Pearls: Forever21 | Damask Ivory Necklace: Firma | Bag: Hermes

Traded my wings in for a string of pearls...and the string is all I've left...

This is a rather different outfit from what I normally wear but I was feeling pretty reckless and quite the free spirit that I gave up my tiara (just for today) and  exchanged it for a floral wreath. What else did you expect? I am almost never predictable, even I surprise myself, sometimes.

 

I live quite unconventionally, I have to say. Compared to other people, I tend to let go of things more often... things I have to do, have to be, have to portray... I never really quite liked the idea of pretending or doing things because that is what is acceptable or expected. Most of the time, I actually prefer to do the unexpected, the unconventional and the challenging... But it is not because I am rebelling... it's just that I am trying to find another way. Granted I have been in the face of life and death situations so many times, I have come to find out that sometimes in an effort to keep on living, we actually fail to live, which is a feat that most of us go through. There's always the need for something more... that we fail to take a breath and bask in the fact that maybe our lives are as complete as they can possible be. I'm done with searching... and at 26, I find myself in the actual living portion of my existence. Life's too short.

My inner process never gives me anything more than I can handle. I may not like handling it, and I can handle it. It is most of the time when I refuse to handle my life that it backs up on me. So often we focus our thoughts upon death and the possibility of dying as an escape from our real fear... that of living our lives. 

We have become comfortable with a way of life that is actually a slow death. What, with our constant working, busyness, taking care of others and rushing around relieves us of the responsibility of being fully alive and kills us slowly, and in a socially acceptable way to boot. What more could we possibly ask for? Hopelessly, the hope is we have so much to feel good about.

Why are we so afraid of living our lives? What would our lives be like if we decided to show up for them and live them? Why is it so frightening to anticipate feeling our feelings and being present to each moment? Why do we allow ourselves to fade away? Grace Hansen once said, "Don't be afraid your life will end: be afraid that it will never begin." 

What are you waiting for?

xx, JL